As I anticipated this weeks season premier of Biggest Loser and Diet Tribe I watch them and just the first few minutes I am in tears. I want to be skinny so bad. I am so sad I didn't do this years ago. I imagine the years that I lost the fun times I missed out on. Shopping for a amazing prom dress, my wedding gown should have been the most beautiful dress I ever wore, I should have had more boyfriends that I was happier with rather than settling for the bad ones I selected. I can sit here and feel sorry for myself as I type this with tears in my eyes BUT I have the control no one else does it is all ME! If I fail at this it is me. I never want to fail at anything I have to do this. How did I get to over 300 lbs how did I ever let that happen? What person wants to live that way? Why why why
I am going to make this change. All my life I joked I was skinny under all this fat....honestly I know that I am skinny I know that a skinny person is in me trying to get out....I need to get my mind right about this. I worked out last night and will again every day this week that is what I have to do daily.
I am feeling a bit sad but hopeful too.....how did I ever let this happen to myself?
I'm Not Sure I Can Do This
3 days ago