Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Diet Shows=Tears for me

As I anticipated this weeks season premier of Biggest Loser and Diet Tribe I watch them and just the first few minutes I am in tears. I want to be skinny so bad. I am so sad I didn't do this years ago. I imagine the years that I lost the fun times I missed out on. Shopping for a amazing prom dress, my wedding gown should have been the most beautiful dress I ever wore, I should have had more boyfriends that I was happier with rather than settling for the bad ones I selected. I can sit here and feel sorry for myself as I type this with tears in my eyes BUT I have the control no one else does it is all ME! If I fail at this it is me. I never want to fail at anything I have to do this. How did I get to over 300 lbs how did I ever let that happen? What person wants to live that way? Why why why
I am going to make this change. All my life I joked I was skinny under all this fat....honestly I know that I am skinny I know that a skinny person is in me trying to get out....I need to get my mind right about this. I worked out last night and will again every day this week that is what I have to do daily.
I am feeling a bit sad but hopeful too.....how did I ever let this happen to myself?
Michelle

11 comments:

Me, Only Better said...

Aww. That makes me sad. (Hugs) to you.

Don't wish away your past, it is what got you here - strong enough to make a difference this time!

Jess' s Food Coma said...

I hear you. I teared up watching biggest loser last night. If only dreaming about being skinny burned calories, I would be 10 lbs. I have a good feeling about you, this is your year I just know it.

Amy said...

You can do this! Moving forward...

the new sarah sundae said...

I totally can understand where you are coming from. But just think of what you're going to look like when you're done. *hugs*

MSJNT said...

I feel the same way. That is why I join your followers. I never said what my weight was. When I saw the ladies on Diet Tribe when they got weighed it hit home. I weight 267 and I am 5'7. I have a double pooch and a budunkadunk butt. I know that this is going to take a lot of sacrifice and commitment to undo all of the damage that I have done to myself. We can only do better from this day forward. You can do it and I can too.

Becky said...

**HUGS**

Dieting Diva said...

Your past is in the past and you can no longer change that.
But here you are in the present working to make that weight change you want to! CHIN UP- YOU CAN DO THIS! Keep your eye on the prize!

Brooke said...

Hey, you visited my blog a few days ago, and I really appreciate it. I would love to join you in your journey. I cried like a baby through the entire show of The Biggest Loser. I want to change. We need to change. WE CAN CHANGE!!!

Shari said...

I hear ya! I cry during every episode of TBL. I think it's because I know exactly what they are going through and know how hard it is. It's sort of like they are part of our circle of 'friends' ya know?

Keep up the good work and we'll get through this! We are all in the same boat!

Shari -- Team Angie

Dani said...

(((HUGS MICHELLE)) Sadly I know exactly what you are saying. It's hard to not look back at what could have been. I feel like I've wasted so much of my life. But, I have heard: you cannot rewrite your beginning, but you can write a new ending! Let's do that!

Linda said...

Great post! I have yet to watch the new season of the BL. It's really hard for me to watch too. I'm usually heavier than most contestants. Thos this year I heard it's different.

Anyway, I'm making the rounds and say hi! Woot! GO TEAM ANGIE!!! Great job with the work outs and Everyday is a new day!!!

Linda
http://operationsticktoit.blogspot.com/