I have a choice daily

I can go to the gym or stay home
I can stay on point or go over...or sometimes go under

This is all me. I was up .6 this week and I stayed under at 20 points this week.....my hard head had to see it on the scale to believe what everyone was telling me.

So today I went to the gym 2x already and it is only 1:13pm. I dropped the kids off at school at 9 and headed to the gym until 1020. The baby was crying and I was at 750 calories burned. I wanted to burn 1000 and do weights for 20 minutes. So I got the baby went home fed him and had breakfast myself. Some whole wheat waffles and sugar free syrup 3 points total. In addition to my fiber 1 bar this am which was 2 points I had 5 points so far. I got my little girl at preschool at noon and headed back to the gym with her. Hopefully her baby brother will be happier having his sister with him. It worked. I went back to the gym and got on the stairstepper did 35 flights of stairs and burned 200 calories and went to the elliptical where I did 1.5 miles and burned 202 calories so I met my 1000 calories today and actually did 1100!!!!

I got home and got out my flat out bread italian style and put some marinara in and 6 slices of pepperoni and not even 1/2 a cup of fat free cheese and made my own hot pocket for 7 points. I am at 12 points for the day.....1100 calories down and weight training down.

I had a choice to go to the gym or stay home. I had a choice in that meeting when I was told Good Job Michelle you went down 3.2 and I freaked out excited to hear another big loss.....only to have her say oh wait you went to a different center last week please get back on the scale and she says oh I am sorry honey you are up .6.....heart sinks rush out to the bathroom and want to scream and saying to myself all the while..........WHY AM I DOING THIS? Why don't I just get the damn gastric bypass surgery my dr. talked about? Why don't I just give up and live at 250ish pounds? Why don't I just quit and let whatever happens happens?

BECAUSE I MADE A CHOICE!
I made good choices so far today and let's hope that it keeps up. My game plan for the rest of today is this:
Dinner some chicken breast that I have been marinating in Italian Seasoning since yesterday a 1/2 cup of brown rice and a veggie mixture that I am going to try. Have I told you I hate Veggies? That would be a understatement but I have to try them. I need to eat more filling foods so I am going to try it.

I have popcorn for 1 point as a snack and while on carpool today I will have 7 wheat pretzels for 2 points. I will figure out the rest of my points for the day after I weigh my chicken tonight to see how many points I have. I am going to a carnival with the kids so hopefully I will have enough points left over for the day to have a treat but if not....I have a choice to make and I hopefully will make the right one.

Tomorrow I will get up and head to the gym after dropping my little girl off at gymnastics for 2 hours so hopefully I will be able to get those 1000 calories burned again and the 3 other kids will hang out in childcare and let mommy do her thing!

This week up .6 next week who knows. I got my period this week too so hopefully I will see a loss cause this momma needs it. I am sad....discouraged.....but trying to make the choice to stay the course. I know I can do this......I want this so bad!
Michelle