Friday, May 22, 2009

I have a choice daily

I can go to the gym or stay home
I can stay on point or go over...or sometimes go under

This is all me. I was up .6 this week and I stayed under at 20 points this hard head had to see it on the scale to believe what everyone was telling me.

So today I went to the gym 2x already and it is only 1:13pm. I dropped the kids off at school at 9 and headed to the gym until 1020. The baby was crying and I was at 750 calories burned. I wanted to burn 1000 and do weights for 20 minutes. So I got the baby went home fed him and had breakfast myself. Some whole wheat waffles and sugar free syrup 3 points total. In addition to my fiber 1 bar this am which was 2 points I had 5 points so far. I got my little girl at preschool at noon and headed back to the gym with her. Hopefully her baby brother will be happier having his sister with him. It worked. I went back to the gym and got on the stairstepper did 35 flights of stairs and burned 200 calories and went to the elliptical where I did 1.5 miles and burned 202 calories so I met my 1000 calories today and actually did 1100!!!!

I got home and got out my flat out bread italian style and put some marinara in and 6 slices of pepperoni and not even 1/2 a cup of fat free cheese and made my own hot pocket for 7 points. I am at 12 points for the day.....1100 calories down and weight training down.

I had a choice to go to the gym or stay home. I had a choice in that meeting when I was told Good Job Michelle you went down 3.2 and I freaked out excited to hear another big loss.....only to have her say oh wait you went to a different center last week please get back on the scale and she says oh I am sorry honey you are up .6.....heart sinks rush out to the bathroom and want to scream and saying to myself all the while..........WHY AM I DOING THIS? Why don't I just get the damn gastric bypass surgery my dr. talked about? Why don't I just give up and live at 250ish pounds? Why don't I just quit and let whatever happens happens?

I made good choices so far today and let's hope that it keeps up. My game plan for the rest of today is this:
Dinner some chicken breast that I have been marinating in Italian Seasoning since yesterday a 1/2 cup of brown rice and a veggie mixture that I am going to try. Have I told you I hate Veggies? That would be a understatement but I have to try them. I need to eat more filling foods so I am going to try it.

I have popcorn for 1 point as a snack and while on carpool today I will have 7 wheat pretzels for 2 points. I will figure out the rest of my points for the day after I weigh my chicken tonight to see how many points I have. I am going to a carnival with the kids so hopefully I will have enough points left over for the day to have a treat but if not....I have a choice to make and I hopefully will make the right one.

Tomorrow I will get up and head to the gym after dropping my little girl off at gymnastics for 2 hours so hopefully I will be able to get those 1000 calories burned again and the 3 other kids will hang out in childcare and let mommy do her thing!

This week up .6 next week who knows. I got my period this week too so hopefully I will see a loss cause this momma needs it. I am sad....discouraged.....but trying to make the choice to stay the course. I know I can do this......I want this so bad!


The Incredible Shrinking Family said...

Hang in there ! Progress can be so frustratingly slow in coming for many of us. But we ARE making progress in so many more things than the number on the scale. We are stronger, healthier and more in tune with ourselves because of our efforts.

Ida said...

You know, sometmes I think that we have to have these bad times to keep us on track. You will do better next weight in. GBY!