It is very simple...so what is it so hard?

Ok so I follow the WW plan and they lay it out and make it very simple...you get to eat x amount of points, write down what you eat and journal it. They even added a box to list how hungry you feel during the day and to mark off how many waters you drank....easy right?

Well why is it so hard I am not starving, my blood sugar isn't to low, and I surely don't need it WHY CAN'T I STAY ON POINT AT ALL THIS WEEK? It shouldn't be hard. So here is what I have been doing
I make myself drink water or crystal light before I put that item in my mouth
I look up the points for it so I know and I list it....even though I see it will put me over my points
I know I eat cause I am bored I need to stay away from the kitchen.

I really wanted to make it to 259 this week but I doubt that will happen. ughh this sucks!

I have really hit a plateau here I have been in the 260 since Oct/Nov can't remember the exact date but it has been over a month and that is just driving me insane!

Ok Jalen is waking...goodnight!

Kinda Fun

Saw on another blog and wanted to do my own version LOL
I LIVE: right where I am suppose to be
I WORK: for 4 of the hardest bosses in the world!
I THINK: way to much and need to just do it
I SMELL: and it takes me back to various places and stages in my life
I LISTEN: and love the stolen silent moments of life
I HIDE: because sometimes it is easier to be the fun Michelle rather than myself
I WALK: to lose weight NOT for the fun of it
I WRITE: because one day I will write a book
I SING: when anyone is listening
I CAN: LOSE THIS FREAKING WEIGHT
I WATCH: and wonder what they will grow up like
I DAYDREAM: about my children's weddings
I WANT: to live a long healthy life
I CRIED:over money 4 days ago
I READ: the news on the computer
I LOVE: my family
I SOMETIMES: wish we could buy my grandma's house
I FEAR: that I will not succeed at this weight loss on my own without surgery
I HOPE:that my children know how much I love them
I EAT: sometimes for the wrong reasons but I am trying to change that to I eat to live!
I DRINK: a lot less than I used too ;)
I PLAY: with my kids....no longer sitting on the couch
I MISS: my friends in NJ
I FORGIVE: but never forget
I DREAM: a lot of little dreams
I KISS: way to little
I HUG: my husband at least 5 times a day
I HAVE: 132 extra lbs on me as of today that will one day be gone!
I REMEMBER: the day we left and life changed for me a 6 year old kid....Dec 18, 1980
I DONT: like when people are mean
I BELIEVE: in my husband and our vows
I OWE: my family for so much more than I ever tell them
I KNOW: one day they will know
I HATE: some of the things people do

WI in earlier than expected

Let me just say this has been a trying week. But it just got worse. Jalen my 5 month old little man may have MRSA yes the flesh eating disease. I am freaking out. We had his little finger lanced and they sent samples to the lab. I was going to WI on Wed with my WW buddies at a different location as our location is closed for the holiday but we have a follow up appt to check his finger on Wed at the same meeting time. So I was at the gym today for my daughters practice and was going to leave to go to WI but she was crying she was sick BUT WOULD NOT LEAVE UGHHHH so I stayed the 3 hours. I quick ran to a WI as they were closing and I AM DOWN 3.4 lbs! Ok so I didn't lose the entire amount from last week's 3.8 gain with the jeans and sweater on but heck almost and that is good enough for me I am maintaining I figure and that is wonderful considering the chocolate chips I have been eating....I am not making the darn cookies I just eat a few chocolate chips during the day LOL

So Mikayla is on her 2nd dose or meds for pink eye.
Zoe is getting pink eye we think and we will ask the dr. tomorrow about her.
Mya is battling a stomach bug that hurts her tummy no throwing up thank God and a fever with bad headaches...day 3 will be in the dr with us in the am to be checked too.
Jalen either has a staph, strep or MRSA on his middle finger....of course I am worried I gave it to him coming home from the gym touching his little finger....ughh
I don't have it and no one else in the family does so we are going to see what they say about that in the dr. too.

Wishing everyone reading this a wonderful Christmas and if you are on this weight loss journey like me I hope your scales stay the same over this week or they only go down...NO UPS!

Someone NOTICED!!!!

Ok so today I went out in my old jeans they were huge and almost coming off me but I was just feeling blah today and it was a rough night. 3 of 4 kids were up with belly aches, fevers etc. So I was tired when it was time to get up for gymnastics at 9am today and a holiday party afterwards...ugh
Well a mom at Gymnastics and me were talking she said I just have to ask what have you been doing lately cause you are really losing a lot of weight. I said THANK YOU for noticing cause no one has really said anything. She said oh no it is really noticeable. I wanted to kiss her LOL. So I told her about WW and she said really I joined WW at my job and I just started it. We talked for the next 20 minutes about what works for us and what doesn't planning for Christmas etc. I was just so happy!

It is really working this time!

People Changing

Ok so since I have lost this 50+ pounds I have noticed people changing. Is it because I am changing? Maybe I walk a little more confident, maybe it is the way I no longer look away when they talk to me how I hold eye contact with them? But I have been taken aback lately by the guys when I get to a stop sign how they stop and look, or the guys who beep as they drive by and wave, or even people that I have known for awhile how they look differently at me. It is complimentary but at the same time for someone who has been a look away type of person all her life it is a bit odd.

.....a true friend will lift you up along the way not find ways to knock you down. I am thankful for my true friends and even for the ones that have taught me life lessons.

I am up 3.8 lbs this week in weigh in but this is the 1st time I weighed in wearing jeans and a sweater....I had a function before weigh in and I couldn't get home to change. I anticipate this weigh in to be huge because I will be back in my tee and light pants. They said my jeans easily weigh 1-2 lbs.

Throw out the freakin pizza

So here I sit it is 10:06 pm EST and we had pizza for dinner 4 hours ago. I went to work out....got on the scale and I am up 2 lbs....still have 3 more days until I get weighed in I will get that weight off........UGH but anyway I came home mad and ate another slice of pizza....got on the phone talking to a friend ate another piece of pizza....hung up with my friend and the pizza is next to where the phone is on the counter and ate one more slice of pizza. In total I have had 5 slices of pizza tonight...........oh and did I mention I ate 5 Christmas cookies today that were 3 points each? What is wrong with me????????????????????????

I just read a post from a woman who comments on my blog and her grandpa would always say Walk it off....well as she calls him Booka.....I will do what he says he must be a wise man! I am going to go walking tomorrow since I will only have 1 child while the other 3 are in school and it is going to be in the high 50's I will bundle up the baby and go walking at the track. I will walk off these damn 5 pieces of pizza and 5 cookies, plus the chick fil a sandwich I had today....but I didn't order fries! Doesn't that count for anything? I am going to walk it off and I am coming to realize if I don't make it to my goal to be in the 240's by the end of the week that is ok. As long as I am out of the 260's I can deal with it.....but I badly want to be 248....can't say I so want to be because if I was serious about it I would not have eaten 5 cookies and 5 slices of pizza....go ahead smack my hand thru the computer I know you want to!

For the rest of the week cereal and a ww meal for dinner that is all that I am eating!

Down 2.2 YEA!!!!

Well I lost another 2.2 lbs. I am thinking the days I go to the gym I am losing a pound a day. I went 2x this week and lost 2 lbs. The week before went 3 times lost 3 lbs. Hmmmm maybe I need to go 3x a day 7 days a week and drop 21 lbs!

I am just glad I am down. I am looking forward to being in the 250's. My goal is to be out of the 240's by the end of January. So I have 22 lbs to lose in about 7-8 weeks. I know I can do it I need to focus and plan, journal, and EXERCISE!

Nothing can stop me oh and did I mention...........
I AM DOWN 51.2 POUNDS SINCE JULY 12!

Something on my mind

Mikayla lost a cheerleader friend yesterday. Madison was only 8 years old and got a cold. She woke up coughing on Thursday night Dec 4th and started to choke while coughing. Her parents said she could just never catch her breath the coughing was so bad. She couldn't get any air in. They called 911 she was taken via ambulance to the hospital where they decided to airlift her to a huge hospital about a hour away. By 6 pm on Dec 5th the Dr. told her parents to decide to keep her on life support forever or pull the plug. They decided to pull the plug. Today is Saturday one day since they lost dear sweet Maddie and they were at the girls float today for the parade the girls were going to be marching in where MADDIE SHOULD HAVE BEEN. I saw them and tears filled my eyes but I couldn't go to them. I couldn't say anything....anything I had to say would have been useless. I just looked at them....looked at my girls and baby boy and prayed that somehow God would find a way to help them in this every parents nightmare. The coach told me she saw them along the parade route waving to the girls. I bet today they left and went to the funeral home, probably made arrangements for Maddie. My heart aches for them and I pray for them as I will for sometime. So if you are reading this and can spare a prayer please pray for Maddie and her family and friends.

My girls asked where baby's came from I said they were always in my heart. They asked if I had any other baby's in my heart after I had Jalen I said no I don't think so but you never can tell with God's great plan. So Mya said when I told her and Mikayla about Maddie-"what happens to the babies in her heart mommy?" I told her Maddie was a blessed little girl who didn't have to wait until she got older to meet her babies she got to meet them in heaven when she met God.

Rest in God's arms Maddie until your mommy and daddy are finally home with you in heaven.

NEW GOAL

Ok so I have been saying I wanted to be 113 lbs. It was in my goal range for my weight but never really saw it before in person. Well today I met a mom in my WW meeting who is my height and 133. OMG She is so skinny she is a lifetime member I never would want to be a 113 that is just very skinny for my height and for me and I don't see how I would ever get to that point. So my goal is 130....yes 130 the weight I was in the 3rd grade the same grade as my daughter but thankfully she isn't anywhere near 130 lbs.

Join me on my journey as I find the skinny under my fat and get to 130 lbs.
Michelle

3.2 lbs GONE!

Well I went to get weighed and thought I would be down 3 lbs I had been weighing myself at the gym. I am so glad to see the scale finally going down again rather than up like it has for November. I saw how much my body needs the gym. I have also realized how much I missed the quiet time at the gym away from the family. Erik is gone from the house all day working I am home with the 4 kids running around all over the place trying to maintain a home. But at night I take that hour and sometimes longer for myself and I enjoy that time. At first I hated sweating. I grew to like sweating feeling like my weight was coming off with each bead of sweat. Than I started to run.....I like to run....I don't love it yet but I think I could. Not sure really yet but I feel so powerful running all 264 lbs of me running praying I won't break the treadmill....praying it doesn't have a 250 lbs weight limit on it.

I know that with my hard work I will be down in the low 250's this month. I KNOW I CAN DO IT! So I will strive for that this month and share in this journey as I get below my 1st child's pregnancy weight and my wedding day weight. I was in the very low 200's when I met Erik and I thought I was cute. I can't even begin to imagine what I will be like at goal.
Michelle

Good Bye November.....Moving on!

I am so glad November is over I can pick myself up and keep moving. I went to WI and gain 1 lb. ughhh But I am not going to let it take me down. I will keep going, keep losing and sometimes have a set back for a month at a time even as this month has shown me. But it concerns me.
1. my mom came to visit and I had 2 weeks of trying to get back on point to get down 4.4 lbs.
2. why couldn't I control my urge to eat those damn pies?
3. why didn't I get my fat butt up to work out at the gym not just the dvd at home?

I will get down at least 10 lbs this month. I can assure you. I am going to get to the 250's before the new year!

Hope for the new year
End of Month
Dec 255
Jan 242
Feb 230
March 218
April 205
May 193
June 180
July 167
Aug 154
Sept 142
Oct 130
Nov 118
Dec 113 Goal