I AM BACK!!!

Well I have neglected this blog for long enough. I have been battling with my weight and not winning for the last year. Surgery has been approved I go for a endoscopy on Monday at 6am and Surgery will be March 25th. One day after my daughters 11th bday. I said mommy can light your candles but I can't eat your cake. I am on a liquid diet for a month yes you read that right A MONTH!!! Darn it I better lose some weight in this month. I want to lose 15 lbs that is my goal. So I went to Weight Watchers yesterday and weighed in at drum roll.....299.2 umm hello where did that motivated woman go from 2 years ago who believed she could so anything?

So after surgery life is going to be so different....well not much different from today since I will be on a liquid diet for at least 2 weeks after surgery followed by pureed and after that onto soft foods introducing solids slowy. I know your jealous right? But I am taking this opportunity to find myself to really find the SKINNY UNDER MY FAT. I know that a skinny mom is under here and she is a beast she is fierce and she can kick some butt. Craving yes I said craving lifting weights and I can't wait to get the clearance from the Dr to do it after surgery. I am going to start up back in the gym today....yes I quit.....and get some heart pumping workouts in before surgery. So I quit the gym in November to save money for the surgery and because I felt like ok the surgery is going to happen I won't be able to work out....well my friend called and said membership is going up so if you want your old rate come join. I went in 2 hours later!

Some people have come forward after I publicly finally stated on FB that I was doing surgery and tried to talk me out of it. I am so glad they did that it showed how much they cared about me and were worried for me. I am worried myself but I am more worried if I don't do this surgery where I will end up. Either way it isn't pretty.

I have begun cleaning out my closet and cleaning and organizing the house it is a lot like nesting. Only I am doing it in case heaven forbid I die my husband won't be left with a mess he has no idea what to do with. I told him this and he said yea I wouldn't want that so please clean and organize everything! LOL Thanks for the support honey I would have thought he might say don't worry you will be fine.

The surgeon I have selected is amazing. My friend pointed out he is not to bad to look at either so when I am going to sleep and after I wake up seeing him will be a nice sight HAHA. She calls him eye candy I say whatever you are have some skilled steady hands and help me on my way to skinny and healthy.

My CPAP machine has been out of commission I hate that thing it is sitting next to my bed collecting dust. I am going to bust it out tonight and start using it again. It can only help.

Later today I am going to post my before picture and goals. Hopefully I can come back to this post in a years time and not recognize the woman in the picture. Hopefully I can cross off some of the goals from the list too!

I will blog the rest of my journey here as a way to remember all that I had to do to get to the Loser's Bench!
Talk to you soon,
Slowly finding the skinny under my fat!