Skinny under my fat

My journey so far ;-)

2012-02-03T05:04:00.000-08:00

Hey I consider every day of my life a journey so here is what has been going on. I went and my with the nutritionist she was great and I feel so informed on what I should and should not be eating. I will not buy 100 calories packs or frozen diet meals again. I found this great blog Bariatric Foodie LOVE LOVE LOVE it! I am going away this weekend and I am working on my recipe binder. I will eat the same things as my family and they will eat healthy with me. My kids won't have to worry about facing major surgery like I am.

I have started to incorporate some eating practices for after surgery.

No chewing gum....psych dr said chew Altoids yay

No liquids with dinner stopping a half hour before and not drinking until a half hour later.

Chewing my food to a purée....I have to say the food really does taste better....I was eating so fast I don't think I actually tasted the food before.

I am back in the gym and I have a new found respect for my body. I know what I am capable of...GREATNESS LOL...but it is trapped in this shell. I can't wait to be free of this excess fat and get moving but until that times will keep moving forward with my working out change in diet and excited feeling for when I am on the other side. I never thought I would sayi want to be on the loser bench haha!

So I did 1 weight check of 4 months last one is April 27!!!!

I went to the psychiatrist that was fun haha

I met with the nutritionist and learned a ton.

Tuesday I go for my sleep study. I work in the middle of the night delivering papers I am looking forward to a full nights sleep.

Everyone so far has said they will recommend me for gastric bypass!!!!!!

All I have left are confirming my PCP sent over my last 2 years weights. Plus 3 more months of weight checks by my dr.

I love the support I have found online. Many people are not happy with my choice but I am!!!!

Here's to finding the Skinny Under My Fat!!!

Gastric Bypass....Oh My!

2012-01-26T10:40:00.000-08:00

Ok so I have had enough! I have thought about this surgery for the past 10 years. I finally took the first step and I called a Dr that my friend used. I went to his seminar in September but put it on the back burner but recently I have felt down in the dumps and decided I needed to do something about my weight. So I contacted him and I have the following!
I saw the Dr yesterday Jan 25
Jan 26th met with the General Practitioner I have to see her 4x every 30 days she checks my weight and she gave me a guide of 2100 calories a day and work out 4-5 times a week no more.
Mon I go to the hospital for EKG, Upper GI, Xrays, Blood Work
Tues I go back to the hospital to meet with a nutritionist
Wed I go for my Psy evaluation
Feb 7th I go for my Sleep Study.

I saw my old Primary Care Dr this am about my past 2 years weights they need copies of his charts.

Here are my thoughts I will do all the testing and I have 4 months with the Dr and Dietician to lose weight. I am 285 and I figure in 4 months I should following the guidelines be able to lose 40 lbs in 4 months. 10 lbs a month the Dr said is good. So if I do lose the 40 lbs I will not do the surgery. I need to see the scale moving in the right direction and with the Drs help I think I can do it.

Worst case as the Dr said to me yesterday this is just a tool you need to do work for it too. He did tell me he thinks I should be able to get down to a size 5 in a year give or take! LOL he probably says that to all the girls!

I have started a youtube channel http://www.youtube.com/user/SkinnyUnderMyFat I am going to blog my journey and daily activities on youtube as well!

Here's to finding the skinny under my fat!
Michelle

Just Zip My Mouth Shut!

2012-01-23T09:19:00.001-08:00

Seriously I have some major issues. I don't feel like working out anymore. I am eating whatever I want. I got WW meals to eat for the week lunch and dinner.....guess what my 4 kids just ate 4 WW meals! I just dont know what is wrong with my mindset at the moment. I am going to the gym with my friend tomorrow she will hold me accountable. I need to do this with people I can't do this alone I know I can't.
I have a 115 appt on Wednesday with a gastric bypass dr. I can't believe I even made the appt. but I am going to see what options they have and maybe meet with a nutritionist to figure this weight loss out! Well not in my case weight loss but weight gain or weight staying the same.
I used to be so excited about this what is wrong with me??????

Work out

2012-01-11T08:02:00.001-08:00

I Did it I made it to the gym. I am going to admit I hate going to the gym alone. I like going w my workout buddy and she has been feeling under the weather. I thought ok just wait to go another day but my head was saying gogogogogogo so I went! It is insane how out of shape I am from where I was......not that I was a top notch athlete but burning 600 calories was a chore for me. So today she can't go again and I am fighting with myself again!!!!!! When will I learn get the balls to just go alone? It isn't like I don't know anyone else at the gym it is full of friends but she challenges me pushes me to work harder. She says I do the same for her but she lost 150 lbs and has kept it off I think she uses me as a chAllenge to not go back to wear she was more motivation!
So yesterday I did the elliptical for 20 minutes the bike for 6 miles and the arc trainer for 5 minutes I didn't feel comfortable on it. I felt like my arms and legs were not in sync.
I am going to go back today and try to start couch to 5 k. I am going to do this I know I can find the skinny under my fat!

New Year New Me!

2012-01-08T13:52:00.001-08:00

So my hubby got me a new ipad for the holidays. I plan on using this to update everyone with my meal plan and weightless.
Monday am I will post my weigh in
Daily updates on exercise and meals
I need to find the skinny under my fat! I hope you continue to share in my journey!

Down 3.2 Pounds!

2011-07-22T10:23:00.000-07:00

Yay I finally had the scale go down I lost 3.2 lbs this past week. I am so pumped and ready to do it again and maybe hopefully reach 4 lbs lost this week. I really want to get to my 5% goal that is 13.8 lbs away I know that I can do that in 2-3 weeks. I want to repeat my 6.6 weight loss weight I had last year LOL.

Today I am planning out menus for the upcoming week and I wanted to share with you a meal replacement shake I have found and love.

Myoplex EAS Shakes 5.99 in Kroger for 4 or 4.89 for 4 in Walmart.
I get chocolate put 1 in the blender.
I add 1 cup of ice (add as much or little as you like)
I add 2 table spoons of Peanut Butter
Blend!

It is so good it tastes like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. I have one of these a day and they are 10 points. I am so large I have 40 points so this is ok for the time being....I will have to go to 1 table spoon of PB to lose some points when I don't have as many points.

Another favorite thing of mine is cottage cheese Delish! I used to love this as a kid but started eating it again and I add some apples it is so good my kids want to eat it.

I will add some more recipes as I discover them. I hope that help you find some nutritious foods that might be new to you!

Slowly finding the skinny under my fat,
M

Heading to Weight Watchers...

2011-07-21T03:39:00.000-07:00

I have my meeting today at 10am please send me good luck vibes. I have been on point all week making wise food choices. I did spin class 4x this week and I also swam a mile. I could have worked out more but I have been focusing on my eating this start of the journey.

This is a short and sweet message....asking for good luck vibes. I really want to see the scale go down this week even if it is just 2 lbs I will take it!
Michelle

So much to catch up on!

2011-07-17T14:26:00.000-07:00

Gosh it has been awhile since I posted here I kinda got lost. Let me tell you about how it all happened. Training for a half marathon is grueling and in all honesty it BURNED ME OUT! I completed my half marathon on March 24, 2011 in 3 hours 56 minutes. I beat my 4 hour goal but my oh my I didn't step foot in the gym for the week after as my running friends had said take a break your body will need it. A week turned into 4 months and 35 pounds with me as I stepped into the gym again. I also decided that I needed to be held accountable and paying for it so I joined Weight Watchers again and pay my 40.00 monthly fee and 95 for the family to go to the gym LOL. If only I could be skinny and not need to pay these prices I could have a extra 135.00....hmmm that is a new outfit a month HEHE.

So when I was going up to NJ this past June I had to get a cute outfit for the New Kids on the Block/Backstreet Boys concert and I was up a size....so not cool. So I told myself girl you need to do something. I started to go back to the gym and promised myself I will come back again tomorrow. I spent the last month well 3 weeks of it going once a week. Well this past week I went back and stayed back. It was great to be back with friends and working out like I need to be. I have been the exact same the last 3 weeks at weight watchers. Seriously I haven't been doing much but following the points plan. I stocked up on 28 Lean Cuisine meals so I can use the meals. BUT I have been talking to a trainer in the gym and she eats clean I am going to try it. So today we bought 6 packages of chicken breast and I cooked them with seasoning and I am going to eat Chicken and a cup of brown rice at night. I bought EAS Chocolate Shake mixes to drink and make a PB Smoothie that I am told tastes like a Peanut Butter Cup YUMMMM

So I am doing my first Tri this Sept 11. I have started a new program in the gym where I swim and do a swim class. It is aqua Trea and Shed and it pushes me to the max. We swim laps at 50%, 70-80% and FULL OUT! It is nice because the trainer is great she really pushes me and I love swimming. The triathalon is not a big one 250 Meter Swim, 7 mile bike ride, 2 mile run. But hello it is a Tri! LOL Who would have thought I would do this? Not me and it seems as crazy as me running 13.1 miles but I did it so this too I will do.

I am going to keep myself accountable here, with Weight Watchers and in the gym. I hope you continue to follow me and hopefully maybe I can motivate you too! Join me as I continue to strive to find the skinny under my fat!

Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T09:17:00.001-08:00

Ok so today is a day for love right? I have lots of love a wonderful husband, 4 amazing kids, and a great group of friends and family that I love and I feel the love back. But every Valentine's Day since I started my journey on July 12, 2008 I always wished I could wear a little black dress. Little meaning size 8 or 6 LOL. That is still not happening. I thought what am I doing wrong? What else can I do? I had a realization.....I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE! So I am going to the Dr. on the 24th and I'm going to talk her to about medication to curb my appetite, also about a nutritionist. I think I need someone who can look at my exercise routine and my eating and tell me what I need to do.

Working out well I ran 10 miles yes I ran 10 miles last weekend in 2 hrs 17 minutes. I have 11 miles to do tomorrow I can't even begin to imagine me running 11 miles. All in anticipation for my half marathon on the 27th of this month. So excited!!! But I told my husband yesterday for a 240+ woman running I think I do a decent job. I said imagine when I find the skinny under my fat I am going to be a machine LOL. He agreed what else could he say.....

But I feel confident in my ability to kick this dreaful state that I am in. I am going to find the skinny under my fat and trust me I know it is in here. I know that I have muscles that are growing and that my body will eventually be the best it has ever been. I won't lose any of my positive energy. It took me 35 years to get to where I was if it takes me half that time to get it off I will be ok with that as long as the scale keeps going down. Rome wasn't built in a day!

Run Run and more Running

2011-01-11T10:26:00.001-08:00

Well I have a have a half marathon coming up in February and another in March and to give myself a break a 5K in April. I know who would have ever thought that I would be doing this stuff? Sometimes when I run I start to cry I admit it not from the pain but from the thought that I am actually doing this! I love running outside vs. the treadmill but will do the treadmill for 3 mile days. A friend posted a video of a guy who was really heavy and he started running. In a year he became skinny, he did a half marthon, a marathon, and he even did a ironman. Can I let you in on a secret. I am training for these 3 races but in the back of my head I am also working on training for a half Ironman. I am a pretty good swimmer and you swim a little over 2 miles, ride 56 miles and run 13.1 miles all in one day. I don't think I could ever do a full ironman 4 mile swim, 112 miles bike ride and 26.2 run but who knows. All I know is I want my kids to see my cross the finish line and be like wow mommy did something really hard and know they can do it too.

My 2nd oldest is a athlete she asked to run the half marathon with me. My February one is not a official 1/2 marathon. Finances got in the way and I can't afford the Princess Marathon this year so that day I am going to run 13.1 and I will have her join me for the last 3 miles. She is 9 and a gymnast and trains 5 days a week...I bet she could do all 13.1 miles with me LOL. I hope one day all of my kids will want to run with me and we can be a running family.

So this week I am running 25 miles. I have a long run on Sunday 9 miles. I am a bit scared of going that far. The longest I ever went was 7 miles but hey what is 2 more miles? LOL

I have gotten back on the bandwagon with Weight Watchers and I am doing slimfast shakes too! So the scale has been moving down I hope to see a 10 lb loss total soon. I am so ready to find the skinny under my fat. I know under all these layers a hot momma is waiting to bust out!

Facebook 2011 Weight Loss Challenge Group

2010-12-29T06:32:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone!
http://http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/pages/2011-Weight-Loss-Challenge/117861781618165
Join us at the Challenge we will do a monthly challenge on this facebook page. Kinda like the Biggest Loser Challenge. We will have a winner monthly with the highest % of weight loss.

Come on over but please don't mention my blog it is a secret I am not ready to share with the world my weight yet!
Thanks and I hope that you can come on over and join us. Also share with your friends. January's Challenge will have a cut off to join on Dec 31st at midnight.
Each month will be a new challenge.

Let's get healthy and skinny together!
Michelle

I Lost 10% Body Fat!!!!

2010-10-19T10:11:00.000-07:00

Well I have been working out doing my usual body pump, spin, intense, and sometimes body combat but I stopped with the bike. I decided today to run 3 miles and after that get on the bike. So I ran today 3 miles got on the bike for 15 miles. I did 18 miles today. I really noticed my legs were different last time I did a big push with the bike so I am hoping that will help me.

But in other news in June I went for a body fat test. It was 50% body fat well I went again this past Friday and I was down to 40% body fat. The trainer said that my body was doing what it needed and the scale was up 4 lbs she said that is normal because muscle weighs more so it is working!!!

I am so excited and can't wait to find the skinny girl under all these layers of fat.
This week will be lots of running, spin, body pump, and riding the stationary bike.
Loving Fall weather!!!

Amazing Running Video MUST SEE!

2010-10-06T12:01:00.000-07:00

http://www.active.com/running/Articles/8-Tips-to-Start-Your-Weight-Loss-Journey.htm?cmp=18-1015&utm_source=sendible&utm_medium=feed

The above is a link to a guy named Ben's weight loss tips but at the end on page 2 is a video it is a must see and have your music up. Makes me cry everytime I see it.
I hope that you read it and are as inspired as I was.

I ran and I am gonna keep on running! Today 4 more miles!!!! Was suppose to be 5 but who do I think I am Super Woman? LOL

I am getting into this jogging thing

2010-10-05T10:52:00.000-07:00

I have a new name for it I am not a runner I am more of a jogger so I am going to say I jog. I dropped the kids in my childcare area at the gym and took off. Just me myself and I and I loved every 52 minutes of it. Yes my friends I ran (jogged) 4 miles in 52 minutes. I was so happy with myself. I really do jog quite a bit more then I thought I could. I challenged myself to jog up the hill not walk...really how much fast is my jog vs. walk I would think LOL

I was running to Kohls in town and back and I was thinking hmmm here I am running to Kohls to one day shop in a smaller size...one day I wanna run and shop hehe! I love listening to music I want to, thinking all by myself, and not having a care in the world.....except looking for critters.

I have been good eating wise today I ate a fiber 1 and for lunch I had a apple and peanut butter. I am going to actually eat a WW lunch after I finish this for a complete lunch. I am not very hungry but know I have to eat.

What activity did you get in today?

6 Miles RAN...I did it I ran 6 miles

2010-10-03T17:27:00.000-07:00

My sock casualty and my pedi needs to be done again!

After the run

Before the run

Ok my friends I did it I ran 6 miles I started around 815 and finished at 10 so a hour and 45 minutes not great but I DID IT.

I started out with my girlfriends who one lost 150 lbs weight loss and diet only in about 2 years, the other is on the verge of 100 she is at 96 lbs gone in 2 years. I am down 80 lbs hoping to catch up to them LOL. In weight loss and running. Because by the half mile mark they were off and I was still struggling. I had my Ipod a flat course and nature to inspire me and well cause a bit of fear to. You see I am petrified of reptiles snakes....lizards......worms....whatever creepy crawly things you can throw at me....a frog whatever! LOL Well this is the American Tobacco Trail and on each side they have swamps on each side. I ran to the half a mile and got to that mile marker and walked. The goal was run a half mile walk 2 mins and run again. Well I was on my own didn't want to meet slimy snake alone and figured the quicker I did this the quicker I could get home. Did I mention I got up on a Sunday morning at 6am for this?

In the book I mentioned earlier she said mile 2 was her hardest. I have to say that was my hardest too. I didn't want to give up, didn't want to walk, and I just wanted to run and enjoy myself. So I did I RAN PEOPLE I RAN for the last 4 miles. I stopped when I went under 1 tunnel, crossed 3 roads, and 3 short bridges over the swampy areas. I would say maybe total that would be a quarter of a mile if that that I walked after mile 2.

I have pictures here for you to see my before and after. It was so much fun. I found when I was like hmmm maybe I should take a break that my other part of my body was saying don't stop if you do you might not start again. I was fearful that it would hurt to much to stop. My body would just cramp up I thought. I was also scared of not finishing until 12 LOL so I had to keep going. My run is more like a fast persons walk and I swear I lost a inch for every mile as my face was so close to the ground from me hunched over running. I know I am suppose to be upright HEHE.

It is a sand trail so I had to stop once to get the sand out of my shoes. I felt like I was running with half of the trail in my left foot LOL. So I wanted to share with you 2 signs I saw on the trail today.

This part of the trail is managed by the NC Parks and Reserve area. Be warned hunting occurs on these premises. (oh really could someone have told the fat chick before she was running about this? Is it dear hunting season? Someone could easily mistake me for a bear. Note to self wear bright pink or yellow next time not dark colors....oh and next time is next Sunday....I will do this trail weekly!)

For the next 300 yards be aware of golf balls! WHAT seriously in this woodsy area and swamp land people golf? Ok great so pick up the pace so you don't get knocked out by a little white ball that so wouldn't be cool! It is only 300 yards run fast like a frozen margarita is waiting for you at yard 301.

I seriously have to thank the 2 signs above, the fellow smiling faces (probably thinking this girl is still running because people saw me 2 times in some cases), the fear of the snakes and reptile friends who made me run and just look down never anywhere else, the 2 creepy guys on the bikes that I swore were trying to jump me, my 2 running friends who inspired me every step on this trail to one day be like them, and most of all to my husbands Ipod.

Drop it like it's hot came on his Ipod of course I was feeling full of myself so I dropped it like I was hot! Imagine the visual people. I was feeling good. I heard my daughters Miley song I can't be tamed...no one is holding me back anymore I ran 6 miles! I had so much fun by myself this morning running for 6 miles. Hmmm next week maybe I will say I am doing 12 and get to run for 2 and spend 2 hours alone just hanging out in my car by the trail with the doors locked and windows up so no reptiles creep in. Come on people I am a mom of 4 I need a break sometimes.

Oh I have to mention one casualty. My comfy cotton Hanes socks which I have been my friend for so long are bye bye. While running I put a hole in the big toe of my left foot with its cute black pedicure and some of the polish came off grrrr. Runners don't have cute toes do they or tell me the secrets LOL. Whatever the case take this as a warning I hear they have running socks. Invest in them even if they are 35.00 for one pair it is so worth it!

THE PICS WILL NOT UPLOAD SO I WILL TRY TOMORROW TO DO THE PICS AGAIN!

Non Runners Guide to a Marathon for Women

2010-10-02T08:06:00.000-07:00

All 200 and something pages read in about 2 hours. Quicker then doing a half marathon for me probably. Well I am happy to report I lost 2.2 lbs when I weighed in yesterday from the day before. Yesterday I had limited time but I ran 3 miles....well ran walked but I did run non stop a half a mile. Yahooooo for me! Haha

But last night we went to a buffet I hate the food its gross why do we go it costs to much for this crap I hate this place.....I can go on and on can you tell. But I love the rolls! So I gave in thinking one bad meal of pizza, nachos, rolls, mashed poatoes and gravy, cheesecake and ice cream something would be better vs my other option of Pizza Hut! So Golden Corral won! My calories who knows who cares one bad meal won't kill me and all day before that I had only 500 cal well 455 to be exact plus I ran 3 miles well ran walked so I had to have taken some of the 455 cal off right?
So I have a goal in the book I read Oprah ran a marathon in 4hrs and 30 min. I wanna do the Princess half in 2 hrs 14 min! LMFAO ;-) yes by 1 minute I wanna beat Oprahs time. Note she did a full I am only tackling a half but she had Bob Greene next to her and hell if you ask me she is Oprah I bet people carried her, drove her, lifted her toes for goodness sake just so she could have such a time. That is a good time right? I mean it sounded like a good time to me and my husband who neither were or ever will be really runners. I am doing this to find the skinny under my fat, a huge life lesson for my kids to show them that you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to, and well heck most of all I want that 13.1 pink car magnet for the back of my car. The look on peoples faces when they see me driving will be priceless! Honey look that big lady ran a half marathon!!!! I can imagine the convo already! But damn it that magnet will be earned and hopefully the convo will be more like honey that hot chic with the 4 super cute kids behaving so perfectly driving that spotless car ran a half marathon I wanna do that too. Maybe our kids will behave better too!
Have a great day friends! Make it a good one. I am doing a new Body Pump launch this am followed by a Bday party at a pool. But it is rest day (minus Body Pump) cuz tomorrow we hit the trail and do 6 miles my first long distance run! Hey its long to me! Haha

Doing the Disney Princess Half Marathon!!!!

2010-09-30T11:31:00.000-07:00

I am by no means a runner. Well wait a minute let me back up a minute! I haven't posted in so long and I noticed my weight has stayed the same. I saw a segment on GMA that bloggers lose weight because people are holding them accountable! So hold me accountable people!!!!

So I am all about goals. I set a goal to do a 5K....ran it alone 3 days before the actual race Chickened OUT! Didn't do it but went and watched my friends do it.

Diva Dash all womens Triathalon 2 mile run 6 mile bike ride 300 meter swim. I could totally do this chickened out didn't do it!

Well ya know what nothing is standing in my way! I decided hell a Ironman let's try that. I am not crazy people so I said I will do it in 5 days.
112 miles bike ride
26.2 mile run
2.4 mile swim
I swam half a mile a day in 2 hours 7 minutes...I wouldn't have been thrown off the course you get 2 1/2 hours to do the swim! YEA ME!
The bike I did 22.2 miles a day 6 hours 12 min
The running well who the hell are we kidding the walking my ass would have been kicked off the course! 7 hours 33 min
16 Hours!!!! In America you are allowed 17 Hours after that you are pulled off in Japan only 15 I would be pulled of in Japan....but hell here in America too. I broke this up over 5 days doing this all in one day I would be dead but hey I had a great week of working out and I did it!

So onto my next challenge. The Half Marathon in Disney a Princess Half Marathon at that!
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fespnwwos.disney.go.com%2Fevents%2Frundisney%2Fprincess-half-marathon%2F&h=293be

I am doing this with friends from all over and plan on making it a weekend of fun. So the goal is to be down 75 lbs by February 25th when we take off for Disney!!!!
Today I am 258 lbs 9-30 and I ran 3.2 miles in 51 minutes.
Mile 1 15.33 min
Mile 2 15:13 min
Mile 3 did 1.2 miles took forever LOL I did it at 3.7 mph on the treadmill.

I am going to update daily and take a picture to document this for you all. Follow me on my journey to the Disney Princess Half Marathon and my journey to find the Skinny Under My Fat!

Happy 36th Bday to Me=Marathon Ride

2010-07-01T07:26:00.000-07:00

Well I woke up on the 28th my 36th bday and my best friend called and said let's go ride a marathon 26.2 miles! I said sure why not its my bday I can ride if I want to LOL

I did it in 58min 34 seconds. I had so much fun I just wanted to do it in under a hour!

But that has inspired me to do something else too!

Ironman Triathalon in 5 days. So at the end of August me and my gym friends whoever is brave enough to take it on will do a Ironman Triathalon over 5 days.

5.2 miles a day running

.48 of a mile swimming a day

22.4 miles on a bike riding a day

I am confident that I will be able to do all of it but the running. So we are going to train all summer and find our happy place and do this! LOL

Here is a pic from me on my bday and the time on the bike!

I am not getting on the scale

2010-06-12T04:33:00.000-07:00

I did my workouts but AF arrived this week and I feel so bloated....I added Zumba to the mix.....WOW I am just not sure that the world is ready to see a 250 lb woman shaking her botty and chest in public yet LOL. I try but I am just so self concious still that I can't get into it all the way. My girlfriend I take it with jokes with me the entire time. She is the same size as me and she goes to town....she holds nothing back. She said next time we need to do a shot before class....I have class in 2 hours LOL I am not so sure I feel like having a shot of liquor before a class to relax me so I can shimmy shimmy some more :-)

This coming week is going to be planning week. I leave for Florida on Friday the 18th with the kids only. No husband he has to stay home and work....someone has to bring home the money right LOL. My mom is dieting too but she still has snacks in her house and I am sure with the kids coming she will load up on cookies and chips. So my game plan is to go to Aldi by her house and get my 2 pt snacks from Aldi. I love that place the prices are great the produce is out of this world and I get lots of fit and active items cheap and without a lot of weight watchers points HEHE.

I want to make a shopping list and make a food menu plan so I know what I am eating and when. Last time I went I gained but this time she bought a bike and I plan on riding every morning and I am going to run when I am at her house too. She lives in a retirement community Top of the World each building is based on a country too cute! But the little old people are out walking at 5am so hopefully I will meet some new "friends" and maybe find a buddy who wants to walk or run in the am to keep me motivated to get up and go.

I am going to find a gym close to her that I can get a trial membership at. That way during free time we can do the gym thing. I so need to stay in the gym. Every time we go I gained weight this time has to be different.

So the scale....I just refuse to get on it this week. I will weigh in on Thursday before I go to FL. I will weigh again on Thursday of the following week when I am leaving FL hopefully it will go down. Darn scale who invented those anyway? I wish I could be the type that just goes by the size of my clothes.....that isn't happening yet!

Back to the basics

2010-06-06T16:07:00.000-07:00

I had to figure out what worked and what didn't. My weight is going up and down like a damn yo yo so I am doing what I know worked. My trainers all day not to eat like this but it helped me get my weight off in the beginning so I will do it again and hell it worked!

I bought my weight watcher, lean cuisine, and lean michelina's meals. I will do them for lunch and dinner, count my WW points and for snacks have fruit and breakfast cereal. I will add more veggies to the dinners.

I really need to get this weight off. I go to the gym a minimum of 2 hours a day for classes but I haven't really been doing my cardio on the elliptical and treadmill so I am going back to that. I take the following classes:

Monday

Intense just like the class says it is running the track, doing the elliptical and treadmill at progressive intensity and at the end we do some hand weights and ab work.

Body Pump weight lifting class

Body Combat a kick boxing class that is new to the gym I am trying it for the first time tomorrow!

Aqua tread and shed where you swim and push to your own max intensity for intervals

Tuesday

Kickboxing

Body Pump

Water Zumba

Wednesday

Intense again

Spinning

Zumba or Step depending on what I feel like

Water Aerobics

Thursday

TTT this class is 20 min step 20 min weights 20 min ab work

Body Pump

Body Combat

Water Aerobics

Friday

Spinning

Water Aerobics

THANK GOD I have such great kids who love the play area....maybe that is the other way around THANK God for such a great play area and my kids love it! They go for 2 hours in the am and my husband keeps them at night so I can go. But I feel I might need to start going in the early morning like 6am again and do some more cardio like the treadmill or elliptical.

My muscles are starting to show. My legs are kinda scary how you can when I lift up my leg see the muscle and the fat skin hangs down....it is awful. My arms are not a pretty site and I hate it! But I know I can have surgery down the road to lose the bat wings and excess skin.

Here is a pic of me from 2 days ago with my daughter at her preschool graduation. I am in a size 16 dress and I was so happy to put it on!!

So Confused??????

2010-05-07T13:34:00.000-07:00

Well I have been thinking long and hard about this. What do I need to do to get this weight off? How did I get these 17 lbs back and how can I get them off so I can pick up where I was at 240 and keep going down?
I realized I tried shakes, tried not eating, tried working out non stop and eating just a bit, but what really worked was Weight Watchers. So I decided today to get back to the basics and I am tracking my food and counting points. I did this and it worked before....IT WILL WORK AGAIN. I am eating counting points, and working out in the gym.

I am hoping to get down to a 16 comfortably by my birthday at the end of June. I really want to wear this cute dress I bought for my goal dress for 3.99 LOL at a size 16. My goal to be in a 16 not my ultimate goal of course LOL

My children need to get in on all the fun of my fitness so I am going to sign up my daughter who is 5 for swim lessons so she can get really good at it. She is more of a doggie paddle swimmer at this point. I want her to be comfortable swimming and be able to join the swim team next year. My 2nd oldest daughter is a gymnast practicing 12 hours a week and she goes 3x a week so she gets her activity in. My oldest is a dancer and she goes 2x a week but I think she needs something more so we are going to have her sign up for the Jr. Triathalon program at the gym so she can work on swimming, bike riding, and running and we can do it together. I really think that she would be great at running she has such long legs and she told me she would like to do track....but she has since changed her mind so I am going to tell her she has to do it just one season and if she doesn't like it after that she can stop.

I am finding the skinny under my fat and the rest of my family is finding that working out is not only rewarding it is fun!!!!

I am going to TRY a Triathalon

2010-05-06T13:56:00.001-07:00

Yep you read it right I am not going to do a full triathalon my gym is doing a modified one.
6 mile swim
15 mile bike ride
3.2 mile run (5K)

It is mid August. This lady at the gym told me about it today and asked me to do it. She said she knew I would be able to do it. I guess they see me in the gym daily they forget I am over 250lbs and they think I am able to do things like them?????? But I am game to try it I don't care if I come in last I want to try it. I am game to try whatever. That is the crazy thing about this gym I feel so motivated by the support around me that I just do it. Today I must have looked like a beached whale doing a reverse plank ( laying on back feet up on exercise ball and butt up high and lifting weights) and people were watching from the outside waiting for the next class. I did it and thought ok if they want to think or say something let them it is my fat ass in the class not them LOL. Before they say anything they should come into the class!

I am going to continue training for the 5K I want to try riding a bike in the gym for 15 miles and see how long it takes and continue on improving my time.

Swimming I do that already and I am pretty quick.....must be because I was swimming by the time I was 6 months I feel like a natural in the water!

Body Pump

2010-05-06T13:46:00.000-07:00

Well I started at a new gym with new programs...AND I LOVE IT! I do Body Pump 4x a week I would do it daily but the trainers said that it is overkill and my body needs time to heel. They even think 4x is to much but I do it anyway!

My schedule is like this.
Monday I do a class called Intense it is like it says cardio and weight class.
Tuesday I do Body Pump and Kick Boxing
Wednesday I do spin
Thursday I do Body Pump and a TTT Class 3 20 min segments 1 is weights, 1 is cardio and 1 is abs
Friday I do Spin
Saturday I do Body Pump
Sunday I do Body Pump

I don't take a day off from the gym at this point I still feel the need to go in 7 days a week. I started swimming again and look forward to the outdoor pool opening at the end of the month where I will add in swimming at 5am. I really hate the indoor pool.

I have noticed changes in my body but the weight is in the same 10 lb range. The trainer said that is because I am buiding muscle. I love feeling my arms and legs muscles I never knew I had. I am really starting to feel better about my body and I have confidence that I will find the skinny under my fat!

I tried out for Biggest Loser!!!

2010-03-07T07:50:00.000-08:00

I drove up to DC on Friday night with my friend Celia to try out for The Biggest Loser. It was a Open Casting Call. Well we arrived at 130am. Had to switch hotels cuz the one we booked wasn't the way it appeared online, room wasn't the one we requested, and the valet parking was full. So I called another Hotel they got us in and it was wonderful. DoubleTree on Rhode Island Ave it was the best I would highly recommend it to anyone looking to stay in DC. They had a cab ready for me at 6am, brought us towels at 2am, the beds were fabulous, and they let us keep the car in the valet parking area all day if we wanted to so we could sight see and not have to worry about parking even after check out!

Ok so I get up at 5am go down alone Celia and Candace are sleeping in a hour later and will join me. I get in the cab and go the line is already forming about 30 people in front of me. I go in and get a spot. They let us inside at 7am and the line is all out of sorts but I start to wonder do I want to be seen that early they might forget me after a day of interviews.

My friends arrive the staff look at Candace funny she lost 150 lbs last year and they almost don't let her in the room. I tell them give her a ticket (you got tickets to go into the room) I said she is trying out. They gave her a dirty look and gave her a ticket. So we are in and the room is filled with big people. I actually felt small. The seats were together and they were complaining that they had open seats to move next to each other. Well finally a guy yells I am big I take up 2 seats. The staff at the convention said finally get it the biggest loser has big people we need to take the seats apart. So they go row by row and tell us move the seats apart and we have room and are comfy. They turn up the a/c everyone is freezing it was awful. We get started at 10am I am done by 1130.

They call you back in groups of 10 to meet 1 of 2 casting directors. He asks for your photo your app and to tell him your name, age, how much you want to lose and what you do.
I said my name, 35, 140 lbs and I am a Domestic Goddess and raise my 4 amazing children.
He said we have 5 minutes for 10 people so I will ask 2 questions. You speak out and tell me your thoughts on the matter. Not to yell over people but get your points across if you can. If not send in a video if you felt your voice was not heard.

What type of discrimination have you felt from being overweight?
What is it like dealing with the public being fat?

I could barely get a word in edgewise! It was crazy but I did sit right next to the casting director and spoke directly to him. Our group at that point was the only one that they told had a call back in the group. He said I have one person from this group getting a call back and possibly a 2nd. Well they never look at your application or pic so how does he get to know what he wants in a 5 min interview with 10 people? He said I have been doing this a long time I know what we are looking for. So I haven't gotten a call yet but I am holding out hope. It was yesterday when I went so we shall see.

I was sitting by a guy who got a call back last year and wasn't picked. He said they get you to do a background investigation they interview you again and if you pass that you are flown to CA. They video you for the interviews too so they can see your tv presence.

If I don't get picked that is fine at least I went and experienced it.
If you have a casting call by you I suggest trying it out it was a lot of fun and the Casting Director was a cutie LOL.

I have been defeated.....

2010-03-02T16:41:00.000-08:00

BUT I WILL RISE UP AND THE SCALE WILL GO DOWN AGAIN!
I haven't really posted much because who wants to admit defeat? Who wants to say yep I am a big old failure? But I am going to say it. I failed at this dieting thing for the last 3 months. No need to make up excuses. Mornings when I should have had my butt out of bed I decided it was to cold sleep in or do a work out at home. No where near the intensity I would do in the gym! Or eating things and saying day after day ok I will start tomorrow. I don't have time to say TOMORROW. I need to get going again before all this weight I got off finds it way back to me. I am at 260 back in my 18's and they are tight as can be but I got rid of the 20's and I refuse to buy more. So mushroom top it will be until I get some weight off!

I think back on why I did this and I try to place blame. My husband brings crap into the house, my mom was here and I ate all her comfort foods, I get a snack and think it is only one snack it won't kill me....well sadly it won't kill me the second I eat it but it is slowly killing me. Slowly taking minutes off my life. My family doesn't force the food in my mouth they don't hold a gun to my head I control what goes in my mouth....MYSELF it is me. I need to love myself enough to know it is ok to say no and that FOOD IS FUEL. I need to find new ways to treat myself. I don't need to eat a Chocolate Reese's Peanut Butter Cup to feel better about something I did.

As I try to find the skinny under my fat I am going to admit this will be a longer road than I expected. But slowly and most definetly SURELY I WILL FIND THE SKINNY UNDER MY FAT!

Joined WW Again!!!

2010-01-24T17:05:00.000-08:00

I was so upset with my recent weight gain that I went back to WW on Jan 20th and I was up 17 lbs from when I last went! OMG in that amount of time almost 20 lbs.....HELLO time to get your butt back in gear. I was at 258 and I got back in the gym daily and counting my points. I am down to 251 in 4 days. I am sure it is water weight and I am also drinking 120 oz of water a day.

I am on a journey to find the skinny under my fat. I had a set back. I tried to take a easier way out with diet pills...that didn't get me anywhere. I see that it will be buring more calories and eating less that is how it will come off and stay off. I got back into my 18's sadly but lat night I was able to get my 16's back on too! TIGHT but hey I got them zippered. I am praying I get back to the 241 on the scale quickly so I can say hello 230's but don't stay to long!

Thanks for sharing in my journey of finding the skinny under my fat!
Michelle

I am back....with a few changes

2009-11-25T04:52:00.000-08:00

Well it has been a long time since I posted and I decided to come back and start blogging and sharing with everyone a bit more. We have hit some financial road blocks and I decided to not go to WW anymore. The 40.00 a month can go to a bill while I do this on my own with the help of some amazing friends. I am in the low 240's I almost got to 230's but I let my workouts go when I was on the phentermine because my heart rate was going so high. I got to 240 lbs AMAZED but I only lost 4.4 lbs on phentermine in over 2 months....that was not a big enough difference for me so I stopped taking it.

I have rededicated myself to this journey I have not come this far to only go back up the scales. Some big news for me is I am in a Large/XL top and I am in size 16 jeans....AMAZING from a 28 to 16 I am so happy and excited.

My children still remain a constant source of inspiration for this journey and I actually ran around a lake non stop with my two oldest daughters. It is about a quarter of a mile but still I ran the entire way. My daughters were cheering me on come on mommy you can do this...mommy don't stop you are going to win the race....and when I finished to get high 5's from my 7 and 9 year old daughters it meant more to me than they will ever know. I turned to my husband who was walking with our 4 year old and baby in the stoller I DID IT I ran around this lake non stop....who knew I could do it....I got tired walking around this lake before and I just ran it. I can't wait for the day that my daughters can teach me tap moves and I can take the adult tap class and perform on stage for the recital and see my girls smiling back at me. Or taking a adult gymnastics class and my little gymnast proud of me doing cart wheels across the floor.....or the day that they look at me and tell me I am skinny and I really believe them cuz they have started to tell me mommy you are skinny.

My husband and I are having some issues and I know part of it is with the weight loss. I feel like he should offer compliments but he doesn't. He is fearful I am going to leave him when I lose the weight....we are in counseling for all of this and I only hope it helps our marriage.

So I went to the gym and I worked out here is my new routine.
I go from 5am until 7am M-F and I got 3 nights a week from 9-10 I aim to burn 1250 calories a day. In the AM I do the 1000 and at night I just walk run on the treadmill for the other 250. I have incorporated weights into my routine as well working on my arms and legs so they can get skinny LOL and defined. On the weekend I go for 2 hours on Saturday to work out and Sunday I go until I burn the 1250 however long it takes.

I have also started to use Slimfast for a diet tool and I will report back how that is working. Today is my 1st day I am going to stick to it and not deviate from it.

My goal is to be down in the 220's as we celebrate New Years. My ultimate goal is to be a size 14 by Jan 1st and to be 220 lbs. I know that I can do it....I need to be dedicated and honest with my food choices and exercise.

It is great to be back again posting....I have missed it.
Michelle
on a journey one step at a time to find the skinny under my fat....hello where are you skinny?

Down 3.8 lbs!!!!

2009-09-03T12:56:00.000-07:00

I went to WW today and cried way to many times. Today was a crazy day of celebrations and hearing everyone talk about how far they came....I had waterfalls. LOL

I got to WW early and weighed in 2nd and so excited to see 241....I am so close to the 230's I have been trying to reach the 230's for awhile....let's hope the 230's don't hang around to long either!

So after WW I went to Kohl's to look for cute clothes. I found a denim skirt in a 16 that fit and I loved it but I find myself being careful what I buy because I don't think I will stay this size for long....wishful thinking.

I have been journaling and that is keeping me on track. I have been drinking so much water I think I might float away. I have no more hunger pangs and this makes me very happy! I showed my oldest daughter the old pic of me and the new one she said ewwww when she saw my old picture. They know how hard I am working on losing this weight and they too will know if you put your best effort that is all that matters and anything can be done!

So glad to see the number on the scale today...I can't wait until next week.....I am finding the skinny under my fat!!!!!!!!!

September 2, 2009

2009-09-02T10:11:00.000-07:00

Taken today 9-2-09

Take at the start of the journey 313 lbs

Today I started Phentermine. I am hoping that it will work. As far as side effects I have a bad taste in my mouth and I got a headache when I didn't eat. It really makes me not eat....I have no desire for food..........AMAZING!!!!

So today I am going to eat 1200 calories.

So far I have had 1 fiber 1 bar 140 calories

Cheese Sandwich on English Muffin 300 calories

I am going to take a body shot later when someone gets home and I will track my weight loss in photos weekly or maybe monthly will be better and hopefully I will find the skinny under my fat.

I realize that this drug is not for everyone and some might not think I should take it but I am going to give it a try. If I don't lose major amounts of weight I won't take it any longer. I mean I know how to do this on WW and I was doing it fine but I need a boost lately my numbers have been stalling. So I hope you all wish me luck and that you enjoy reading about my journey as I try to find the skinny under my fat.

The pictures are face shots from the beginning to a current shot of my face I took today....the difference is amazing. I can't even imagine what I will look like when I reach goal!

Had my physical!!!!

2009-08-31T07:54:00.000-07:00

Well I went for a physical on Saturday and I got the bloodwork results back this morning...they are quick! Everything is fine THANK GOD! So the Dr. is going to get me the phentermine he will call in the prescription today. I am so excited I took Phen Fen in 97 and lost weight so this is going to just be a added boost....I hope. My Dr. said that he wants me to get to 140 so I am going to have him do a note for Weight Watchers because the WW scale is higher.

I am excited to say I have a NSV (non scale victory) to report back LOL I went shopping yesterday and I was in size 16 pants and a XL top I didn't try on Large but I bet Large would have fit too! I am so excited. I am down to 244 and my body is really changing shape.

The kids have started school I go to the gym at 5am every morning to work out before they wake up and on the weekends they come with me on Saturday and Sunday they stay home. Sunday I do crazy work out day and burn at least 1250 calories. It takes me almost 3 hours but I do it. I also have added weights to my daily routine. I do arms 1 day bottom the next. I think that is helping change the shape of my body even if the scale isn't coming down the inches are coming off!

Hope everyone is doing great!
Michelle....slowly but surely finding the skinny under my fat!

Whoa where have I been?

2009-08-18T09:25:00.000-07:00

I have been around just not blogging much. I find myself in a rut at the moment I am maintaining not going up or down. I can't be sad I mean I am not going up right? But I am not at a point where I can maintain I need to keep going down....so you know me I DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

I went to the dr. asked for Phentermine....not sure if I spelled it right. She said no way I have done so good on my own I don't need a thing and to keep up the good work and yes it is normal to slow like this after all this time doing it and losing this much weight.

So that wasn't the answer I wanted so...... I joined a gym with 2 of my friends. A new gym with more classes and a pool....the girl who hated gyms has currently 2 gym memberships (my mom would get a kick out of that LOL)

I get up at 5 am to get to the gym by 530 and I am working my butt off to get to 1000 calories in 2 hours. I also still walk at night 5 miles but less lately usually about 3-4 times a week because of conflicts with friends schedules....I should just walk alone....hubby is having knee surgery so he can't walk with me.

I got a job as a home daycare provider so working out during the day consists of videos and doing things on my own I try to do it while the kids nap. I am going to find a way to make this all work. I am going to find the skinny under my fat.
Michelle

I don't think I will see a loss this week....

2009-07-15T12:44:00.000-07:00

I got my period I think....it is very light and not like this normally but heck if this is the new period I will get after losing this weight I will take it LOL.
But I have been walking, getting in my water, and at the gym. Yet the scale isn't really moving. Why is it that men can lose so much fast, they don't get periods, don't give birth, seriously something is wrong with that!
Maybe next week I will have a big loss. I really want to get comfortably into a size 16 pants. I have so many cute 16 jeans and capri's my mom bought me to wear in the fall....I BETTER BE IN THEM!
I have realized that this weight is going to get slower and slower coming off. I honestly wanted to lose 25 lbs this month....reality probably 7 lbs will come off this month. I could put 7 lbs on in a week so I can't complain. I still have my moments like this morning in the shower looking at my huge belly thinking heck maybe I should just go get the Gastric Bypass and get some help with this weightloss. But I will feel like a quitter that I have come this far. I only have 109 lbs left. That sounds a lot better coming from the 178....it will feel really good to say 99 lbs not in the hundreds anymore.
I honestly can't wait to say I am in onederland.....only 44 more lbs to go to that milestone.

Oh and I have a sad announcement....my 10% keychain broke. I was running in the rain and had the baby in the carrier and the keys in my hand and I got inside the top was gone but I had the circle part that had my weights....THANK GOD! I am going to ask for another tomorrow when I go to the meeting.

You know how much those charms mean to me so I was so happy that I still had the weights!

I have been on point all week and have a new favorite thing to eat.

I take a flat out it is 1 point
1 cup brown rice 3 points
chicken breast smothered in cajun seasoning 3 points worth
1 cup veggie that we are having that night
7 point meal in a wrap it is SO GOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!
I cook the chicken on the stove with a tiny bit of oil so I get a oil LOL

I love hot foods so the cajun seasoning is so good on this. I made a small one yesterday with 1 point of chicken for dinner and it was enough and 1/2 cup of rice not a cup and still full. So I can make it smaller too which is great to know when I am running low on points at night.

I might make another one tonight....oh and I also started slimfast shakes this week....3 points for a caramel coffee one. It isn't that bad. But I can do a cheese sandwich for 3 points, a wheat english muffin and toping for 3 points...not so sure I will stick with the slimfast shakes we shall see. I had a coupon figured I would try it out.

I will post tomorrow and tell ya'll how I did. Wish me luck! Looking for my usual 1.2 again HAHA

1 Year Ago.....

2009-07-11T07:28:00.000-07:00

My son has gained 14 lbs in a year

I have lost 68 lbs in a year

Me at 313 the day after I gave birth to my son...well 6.6 lbs less since that is what he weighed LOL

1 year ago today I was 34w5d pregnant with my son. I weighed 313 lbs and I was planning on taking my kids to a movie at the park to see Alvin and the Chipmunks. It was hot and muggy and I really didn't want to go but went because it seemed like a fun outing with my girlfriends and all our kids. My husband was suppose to come but he got a call around 6pm. I ran to the dollar store to pick up some munchies for the movie and opened the garage door to find my husband in tears saying to me...."My grandmother died." My heart sank for him because my grandmother had passed just 10 months before. Both of us had grandmothers who helped raise us and we lived with them because our moms were divorced when we were young. I didn't want to go to the movies I wanted to stay with him but he didn't want the kids to see him upset and he said to go. We went and left him alone for a bit. While at the movies I felt fine but a little wet down below. I never had my water break before on its own. My water had to be broken while in labor with my girls. At the end of the movie the kids wanted to go to the bathroom and I said ok I will go too. I had blood on my panties and they were very wet. OMG what is going on I am to early I was thinking. I had lost a twin in this pregnancy what is happening? I got home called the Dr and said look my husbands Grandmother passed she is a 8 hour ride away should I go? She said if I am not leaking in the am it is ok. But if I am to not go and come in to be checked....no contractions nothing was going on. We told the girls what happened and went to bed. At 430am my neighbors car alarm went off and I jumped out of bed thinking it was our car alarm and whoosh my water broke as I stood up water came down my legs and I thought ON NO THIS IS IT! We called my girlfriend packed my bag cause it still was not packed and dropped the kids off. How is it that my son who while my grandmother was dieing I whispered in her ear "When you get to heaven can you ask God to send us a son?" and I got pregnant the next month. We had to use fertility treatments with our 1st 2 kids. The day my husbands grandmother dies is the day I start labor for our much awaited miracle son. I gave birth in such a cloud of emotion. My son was born and I looked to my husband and said as your Grandmother's sun set our Sons sun rose. The entire room of nurses and my Dr both were in tears knowing about how our son came to us and that my husband lost his grandmother the day before. I was happy yet sad my husband was leaving the next day to go to his grandmothers funeral and that my mom was coming in and she would take me home from the hospital and our son would come home to a house without his daddy. My husband tells me today that that weekend was a blurr to him and that he didn't know what way to feel happy sad each emotion brought him back to the other and he was confused. While alone with my baby boy at night I whispered in his ear "Thank God for you and Thank God that you will NEVER know me fat." I was on WW when I got pregnant with him and I started that first meal with the plan. I ate the hospital food doing the best I could at counting points. I had lost weight very fast in the beginning of this journey and I am sure it had to do with breastfeeding and following the plan. 1 year later and I am down 68 lbs. My son will never know me fat. I still have 114 lbs to lose to get to my goal of 130 lbs but I know that I can do it. I am well on my way to the Skinny Under My Fat.

Happy Birthday Baby Boy! You were a gift sent from heaven welcomed into our arms.

If you can handle 1 more miracle.....

When they came to do the photographer pictures at the hospital I asked for a album to look at the work. The 1st picture a baby girl was in the exact same outfit that my last daughter got to come home from the hospital in from my Grandmother. It was like my grandmother sent me yet again another sign she was with me.

I like to think our son was kissed in heaven on his way to our loving arms by both his grandmothers.

I know my grandmother would be so proud of me tackling this weight issue head on. She always battled with weight her entire life and she always said do it while you are young it gets harder as you get older.

Down 1.2 again 3 weeks in a row

2009-07-10T08:06:00.000-07:00

Really is that my number? Ok so I have had issues with going to the gym, I have been at party after party. Have another one this weekend for my sons 1st bday. I need to get my head back in the game!!!!

I need to lose 1.2 more next week LOL that number AGAIN! I will get another 5 lb star for my bookmark. Little rewards mean so much to me on this journey how about you?

Someone asked me what my reward to myself will be when I get to 100 lbs. My friend is buying a coach bag, I read about ladies taking a spa day, or one lady got a diamond ring from her husband. Me I think I just want to celebrate staring at my certificate from WW maybe put it on the machine I am working on to keep me motivated. I think they get a certificate we have a member a guy who is down 90.4 lbs in our meeting we are anxious to see what our leader does for 100 lbs only 10 more lbs to go he will be down in 2 weeks I am sure. He loses so fast but men always do....big losers LOL

I was sitting by the pool yesterday and thinking about how big my swimsuit was on me. I am wearing on my size 16/18 frame a size 28 tankini, 30 skirt, and 28 bikini bottom. When I dive into the pool my bottoms come off and my top is a big fly away mess. I am not getting another bathing suit because I am tight with money and I refuse to waste money on a 16-18 suit when next year I WILL BE a size 8. I asked my girlfriend who is on this journey too if she kept her size 16 pants and jeans from last winter she said yea I can have them to wear before she gives them away she said sure. I am getting to slim pickings in my clothes and you gotta see my shirts. I am currently sitting in my work out pants and a 4x tee shirt to go walking....not a pretty sight. I laugh at the thought of me going into the gym in clothes that actually fit and the people thinking wow she really lost weight!

I am going to run literally. I am going to the gym to work off the drinks and food I had last night at MNO. Way to much fun with my girls making smores, drinking in the hot tub and me jumping in the pool to swim laps after a few drinks....not a good idea.

Have a great day everyone!
Michelle who is slowly but surely finding the skinny under my fat even if it is 1.2 lbs a week ;-)

Down 1.2 lbs this week...bday cake week AMAZING

2009-07-03T06:37:00.000-07:00

So I was down this week. I thought for sure I would be up. But only 1.2 but hey it is down. I was sitting in my meeting thinking ok if I did 1.2 for the next 50 weeks I would be down 60 lbs in basically a year. Seriously??????????? I want more than 60 lbs. But this year I lost so far 68 lbs. I had a baby so 30 lbs of that was pregnancy weight. So realistically 60 lbs isn't anything to be ashamed with. Is it as fast as I would have wanted? ummmmmmmm NO I mean really I thought ok the weight is falling off and in my mind I thought I would be in the 130's at this point. I didn't take into account my months at plateau.

I am working at this it is a daily struggle. I walk and go to the gym. I am going to swim whenever I can and get as active as possible. I need this weight gone. A friend who was at 300 1 year ago and yes is down to 160's not quite sure how she did it LOL she works out and eats right and never cheats. But she told me the other day that just losing the weight didn't make her happy like she thought she would be. She said I still have the same problems and I still see myself fat. It got me thinking well I assume that my life will be perfect when I am a size 8. It won't be just because I am a size 8. I also know that life is short so I am starting to take the attitude you only live once and it isn't forever so seize the day. I have started telling people things that I normally wouldn't. Like when I think they are making a mistake I tell them. When they say something stupid or rude I tell them. When my kids ask me to have a sleepover on the hard floor I say yes. Doing a cannonball into a friends pool...I do it. Not worrying that people will be like that fat chick is doing what? The pool will be empty when she jumps in from all the water coming out.....instead I do it to see my children's faces and to laugh with them.

My kids come to WW with me. They play in the playroom next door and my oldest will sneak in and say mommy how many points did you lose? She doesn't understand pounds or points. She goes in and tells her 2 little sisters and they each come in 1 by 1 to congratulate me. It is so cute. They worked out with me the other day and walked the track about 2 miles they had fun. It was fun to them not working out!

I am glad that a pound and some change came off my body today....hoping for more next week.
Michelle

OMG Found this old photo Comparison shot

2009-06-30T20:31:00.001-07:00

Me in 2006 OMG Me in 2009

Ok so I am uploading pics to snapfish in case my computer crashes and I saw this old photo. I remember taking this in 2006 thinking I look cute. This top is kinda sexy cut low and I really loved my lipstick. I thought I looked cute....I look inflated. ughhhhhhhhhhhh

My Birthday...DREADED CAKE

2009-06-30T09:48:00.000-07:00

So it was my Bday on Sunday I turned the big 35. This is a big number for me because I started my weight loss journey so that when I got to 35-36 the age when most of my family and friends went downhill health wise (diabetes, cholesterol issues) and I didn't want that to happen to me.

I have a addiction that I have not conquered yet. I am addicted to food. I love it. I crave it. I need to eat it and it makes me feel better. I have not gotten to the point where I can turn away from food when I am upset, happy, whatever feeling. It is a illness I admit it and I am trying to change it.

Knowing this my when my husband asked me what kind of cake I wanted I said let's go for ice cream it will cost the same as a cake and it won't be sitting in the house and I won't have to worry about eating it. He said no a cake is a tradition. Well we see where that tradition has gotten us. Diabetes for him, severly obese for me, and 4 kids who can easily be both of what we have.

He left in the middle of the afternoon got my car detailed and brought home cake, flowers, and cards. I was upset inside telling myself you can do this just have your one piece and be done. Oh and he brought home ice cream 1/3 of the fat breyers cookies and cream and vanilla. After dinner (I was willing to eat a birthday dinner of my choice not dessert that would be in the house) of nachos with lean meat, tortilla chips and light sour cream and cheddar cheese the cake comes out! It was a huge double layer fudge cake with big pieces of chocolate cake on top. I have a picture in this post of one that is similar but mine was huge!

It was me, my husband, and 3 little girls eating this monstrous cake. We had a little over a 1/2 on Sunday. Monday I ate cake and ice cream for breakfast lunch and dinner. 3x cake and ice cream. I actually went and walked 5 miles last night came home watched the bachelorette and I told my husband when I was leaving please make the cake disappear. Please throw it out or you eat it so I don't see it when I get home. I went to get a drink the cake was in the fridge it was midnight I ate the last piece which was really the size of 2 pieces. No ice cream though! I am mad at myself but also feel like I NEED HELP! No he didn't put the cake in my mouth, no he didn't tell me eat this or I will leave you. He just did what most people do for birthdays and had cake for me. But why can't he see that things I shouldn't eat are like a alcoholic going to a bar for the peanuts. They know they shouldn't have a drink but they do and they just let it go and have as many as they want.

I am battling a addiction. I can't say no. I am fine when it isn't in the house. I don't go out to get ice cream or cake at a drive thru and not have it in the house I just don't eat it. I can't have it in my home. I really need to talk to him about this or even doing cupcakes so that way we each have a little piece and that is it they are gone.

I feel bad....the scale is up....I need to work out even harder to get this cake off my body and I need to move on. I need to talk to my husband and make sure that he is on the same page as me and know that I am serious about it. I might have him look at this post so he knows how I feel ughhhh why me???? Why can't I be the skinny girl who can eat whatever she wants but not gain weight!
Michelle

Summer Vacation is bad for exercise

2009-06-25T09:30:00.001-07:00

I have been doing so bad working out since school let out. My schedule is out of whack. I need to get back into the gym. I have not been in the gym in a week I am still working out at night walking 5 miles but I need the gym. I cleaned out the pool well the pond that we call our pool and I was squatting spic and spanning the thing. My legs are in so much pain but I still keep walking. The pool is finally clean kids are swimming and I need to get my water aerobics kit and do some in the pool at night too!

I weighed in at 247 today. Why when I reach a goal do I sabotage it and I gained weight? I actually lost this week the week before I was up 2.2 this week I am down 1.2. I am counting points still thank God or I would be in even worse shape.

On a lighter note I do fit into a size 16 at Cato and I wear a size 1 from Lane Bryant LOL! A size 1 why did they ever change that? But I do like saying I am a size 1 HAHA

My skin is getting really nasty. I know I shouldn't worry about it I should just worry about the fat coming off my body but OMG my arms are flabby, my legs when I put a leg up on the ottoman I see at the top of my leg all this excess skin. GROSS GROSS GROSS.

I am going to try to get my butt into gear and get into bed by 1030 pm at night so I can get up at 530 for the gym. I have been getting up at 8 and my kids go insane in the gym and I feel bad to keep them in the gym for almost 2 hours while I work out.

Wish me luck!
Michelle

Snakes vs Walking THEY WIN!

2009-06-17T08:01:00.000-07:00

So we went to a favorite ice cream shop with our friends. I had a kids sherbert LOL. It is about 8 miles away so I said to my friends who are all dieting too let's walk home. We do 5 miles a night walking together on the track this could be fun. So only 1 said ok. I didn't even think about the route and my fears
1. no sidewalks we live in the country but are all from Long Island NY and NJ
2. critters aka SNAKES!!!!
3. dogs
4. creepy men driving by
5. dark streets and it was 730 when we started out

So we walk and the ice cream place is in farm country and the first house we see I know from driving by that they have pit bulls. I tell my friend yep that is a pit so make no eye contact let's keep walking. They must have had a electric fence cause he stayed in the yard. But as we walk by the house my friend starts screaming SNAKE SNAKE did I mention I am deathly afraid of snakes? In the 5th grade I opened a book to a picture of one and threw it across the room they called my mom in to see if I was ok. As a child I grew up in FL until I was 6 and my brothers would torture me with snakes I think and lizards as any reptile really scares the beejezzies out of me.
So we start running and the dog is barking and I am fearing that this damn snake is going to jump up and get either one of us and the dog is going to finish us off. My friend turns and says the dog is not coming and the snake is dead. But it is red. What the hell kind of snake is red? So we are walking in the middle of a road which by the way is a busy road 2 lanes and speed limit 55 and we come upon a recreational grass airport. I refuse to walk in the grass so I am in the road and we have a car that is turning out....well a van of men who start screaming and beeping at us.....Hello keep moving or get pulled into the van I am thinking. I was way to many CSI shows. So we are moving....I am keeping my eyes on the road and grass and see another freaking snake. It was black and greenish large and coiled up right on the side of the road in the grass. I scream to my friend, "Run it is a snake it is poised to attack!!!" I am in the middle of the road running in circles snake snake snake! She can't see it and is following me in circles. I scream give me your phone as she is pushing me out of the road to the other side of traffic so we can see cars coming cause I almost killed us in the road! I call my husband and tell him come get us! I am not walking home snakes are out to get us and we might just be moving if we have this many snakes here! So we are walking to this home community that is vacant no one is buying houses and what do we see another dead snake in the road in the subdivision!!!! So my husband got us he dropped us off at the track by our house and we walked 3 miles, we did at least a 1/2 mile on the snake infested road and a 1/2 mile walk back to my house to get home. So in all 4 miles at least for the day.

I got a pedometer at walmart 5.00 not to bad right! It tracks steps and miles so I started yesterday with it. I did over 12K steps and I walked 3+ miles. I didn't go work out yesterday got my period and really didn't feel like working out. I took the kids for a 1 1/2 mile walk on the track yesterday but that was it.

I go to get weighed in tomorrow my scale is up 2 lbs so I am probably going to be up but I am ok with it I was PMS'ing and didn't do so great these last 3 days.
Hoping the scale is moving in the right direction for you all!
Michelle

I got my charm!!!!

2009-06-11T11:43:00.000-07:00

LOL Finally after so many months I made it to 52 lbs down with WW and 67.6 lbs gone from my body since July 11, 2008. I am so excited and only 23 more to 75 ;-)

I lost 4.4 lbs this week just like 2 weeks ago. Guess that might be my magic number. I am going to keep working out like I have been and I lost a point with this loss since I am down to 245.8! So that will be fine. I have not weighed this since 2000. I met my husband around 210-220 range I believe. I will feel really good at that point and wonderful when I get to my goal weight of 135.

135 is a good point for me. The top for my height is 141 with WW. I would like to be 135 so I thnk that is a good weight for me. But I will have to get to that point. So I am at the oint of 110 lbs left! That sounds better vs needing to lose 170 lbs!

Thank you for sharing in my journey! I am going out for a MNO tonight with my girlfriends to celebrate. Applebee's where they have the WW Menu LOL!
Michelle

Letter to me

2009-06-08T16:58:00.001-07:00

I read a letter someone wrote to herself on bootcamp buddies and decided that is a fun activity and I am going to write myself a letter for 1 year from today.

June 8, 2010

Dear Michelle,

Funny as a kid 2010 sounded so far away and I thought we would be flying instead of driving cars on the streets. I imagined we would have robots for maids and live like the Jetsons. I never imagined myself at 313 lbs. But MAJOR KUDOS to you girl you got it off and you look amazing and probably feel pretty damn good.

I hope your 10th anniversary with Erik was amazing. That you got to wear the gown of your dreams. And who could not forget the amazing 2nd honeymoon you took with your husband. Not like your 1st honeymoon 7 months pregnant and in Atlantic City because you couldn't travel far due to being so pregnant....who would have wanted to anyway being that big.

How is it shopping in stores you dreamed of and out of the plus size departments? I bet your closet is full and your husband tells you to stop it with clothes. Oh and your bathing suit....I bet they don't have skirts anymore do they?

Most of all I want to say to you....YOU ROCKED IT. You took your own time doing this but you DID IT! You are a inspiration to your children, you have found the Skinny Under You Fat, and welcome to the life you always dreamed about. May you continue to do kart wheels with your daughters, and learn to play flag football with your son.

I love you. I love your determination. I love your dedication. I love your stretch marks they are your badges of honor for your 4 amazing kids. They are your proof of how far you came from and why you should never go back. Keep your head in the game don't give up because you will always have to work to keep your weight in check but you have proven beyond a doubt that YOU CAN DO IT!

Hugs and kisses and I am so proud of you!
Michelle who found the skinny under her fat!

The scale is going DOWN

2009-06-08T10:32:00.000-07:00

I have been working out like a beast and it is paying off. I have been keeping track of my water intake, keeping on point and getting in 1000-1500 calories burned a day doing exercise. I am down since last Thursdays WI 5 lbs on my scale at home. I am always 1 lb heavier on my scale at home vs the WW one so I am down so far 6 lbs with WW.
I went to the store today to try on size 16's they still don't fit but the 18's are not giving me muffin tops anymore they fit just right...I was hoping the 16's would be really tight but I think I need to get down another 15-20 lbs to get into a 16. My top is a XL or LG depending on the top cut but gosh my butt is so big. My friend told me I will look like Kim Kardashian when I lose weight and get to goal....ughhh I hate her body. I hate that big butt. My butt and thighs are huge. My husband says he doesn't want me to get to thin he likes a girl with meat on her. OHHHH and yesterday I came back from a 5 mile walk I am laying on the couch and start doing leg lifts. I notice my outer and inner legs are so loose. I have so much loose skin already. I made him come over and check it out.....ewwwwwwwwwww. I met a lady at the track she lost 150+ lbs at the track just walking. She has so much excess skin the Dr said she has 25 lbs of excess skin. I don't want to be like that. I told my DH to start saving money because I am going to have the skin surgery and tummy tuck to get it all off when I get to goal. LOL
I am so excited to see what Thur brings. I am hoping I top my 6.6 biggest weight loss in one week. I am wishing for 7 lbs gone!
Thanks so much for sharing in my journey as you are on your own too! Hopefully we will all find the skinny under our fat!

Not a budge on the scale

2009-06-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

Well after all the working out, tracking my food, and water I am exactly the same 250.2. I am sad that it didn't move but glad it didn't go up.

My leader was not at the meeting we had a sub and she was so boring so I breathed a sigh that ok I didn't get my 50 lb charm but I wanted to get it from Carolyn my leader anyway. So next week!

I am going back walking tonight to do 6 miles. I did one mile at the track this morning....my gym was closed. My gym is closing locations in the dead of night all over our state....I freaked when I went at 530 and they were closed this am. Well the guy overslept I stayed until 6 he arrived at 615. But hey tomorrow I will go in at 530am to work out.

Next week will be a big loss it has to be!
Michelle

6.6 miles and helpful calculator for points

2009-06-02T19:11:00.000-07:00

Well today I walked 6.6 miles at the track. My scale is not moving. Not sure what that is about I am just going to wait to see what the WW scale says. I just need 1.8 to get my damn charm God I hope I get it this week. How frustrating is that just trying to get a little metal charm to put on a tarnished ring....BUT DAMN IT I WANT THAT CHARM!

When I started out walking my shins were killing me and I thought hell no this is not going to work tonight. But I walked away the pain and it felt fine. My walking buddies left and I walked alone for a mile. Nice to clear your mind and just walk at your own pace.

Well I was looking up how many calories I would have to eat vs burn to lose weight. My formula says if I eat 1500 calories a day burn 1500 calories and my base line burned for my height and weight was 1871 a day burned I would lose 3.74 lbs a week. I put in 2000 calories burned and still only 4.74 but really burning 2000 calories a day I would have to walk for about a hour and a half and do the gym for 2 hours. That is just to much for 1 lb a week and to much time away from my family.

So if you want to see your chart look at this page and have a pen paper and calculator handy.
http://www.ehow.com/how_2088168_lose-weight-counting-calories.html

Tomorrow my game plan is go to the gym at 530
Elliptical for 2o min 240 calories burned
Bike for 10 min 100 calories burned
Stairstepper for 20 min 200 calories burned
Treadmill 1 mile 15 min 160 calories burned
700 calories total

At night I am going to walk the track walk 5 miles for 800 calories so 1500 total burned for the day.

Thanks so much for your motivational posts! It really keeps me going and I love reading your blogs to see what you are doing and how I can incorporate some of that into my life too!
Sharing in this journey is the best!
Michelle

5am Gym Days & trial 5K Run

2009-06-01T10:32:00.000-07:00

I am in the gym looking around as people walk in. So many of them have garment bags with them and carrying some nice high heels or nice shoes. I tell ya I get up at 445am and head off to the gym. I can't imagine going to shower and to work for 8 hours after a 2 hour workout. My God these people make me tired thinking about it.

I sit here on my couch with my kids playing around me wanting to take a nap. I ate lunch had 4 points of cereal....had 3 points of waffles for breakfast. Tonight I am making some chicken but if I have enough points I might eat the tacos I make for the family tonight.

I went yesterday for a walk with my friend we tried to do the 5K that she signed up for next weekend. We got lost and made it 4 miles instead of 3.2 LOL. We took a bit longer then what we hoped....1 hour 20 minutes. We got lost and were asking for directions and walking with a map LOL But we walk at night too at the track and tonight I am going to walk 5 miles on the track.

My eyes are getting heavy and I am so sleepy. I am off to take a cat nap and dream of being skinny under my fat ;-)

Down 4.4 lbs this week 1.2 more to medal!

2009-05-28T11:53:00.000-07:00

Well I did good...I should be happy but I so wanted that 50 lbs medal this week. Oh well next week for sure....God Willing!

I think my house scale is broke one second it says 247 the next 254 the next 250.4. My husband said Michelle it isn't going to change stop getting on it when I got on the 2nd time after weighing myself a few seconds before. He saw the number and said ok the thing is broke how is it giving you such random numbers. So I think it needs batteries so I will not be going by that scale. I am going to start using the one in the gym it is a Dr type scale and I have not been able to weigh myself without pushing over the 250 pt in forever!!!!

I am 250.2 according to WW so maybe in 2 days I will weigh again in the gym. I can't wait to be out of this decade I will be thrilled!

Thanks so much for the motivation to keep going on. It is a long road ahead but I know we can do it together!
Hugs
Michelle

Hi Ho Hi Ho its off to work out I go....

2009-05-27T09:45:00.000-07:00

Wow last night I went walking with 2 of my girlfriends. I got to the track a little later and they had walked 1 mile already. I walked 4 miles with them. It started to rain we kept walking we were sweaty already ya know. So we were laughing so hard at the conversation it was a fun work out. I made a plan to work out at 530am the next morning with one of them and we went to the gym. I did over 500 calories in the morning. I did 225 on the stairstepper, 285 on the bike and I am going back tonight walking. I will do another 4 miles tonight. I put on my pants that my mom bought me....she got me every size jean at the start of summer in 18-16-15-14 and the 18's are a little loose in the waist the 16's are on and tight but hey they are on....not for public viewing the muffin top might scare people away LOL.

I go to get weighed in tomorrow at 930 am. Do you think it would be ok if I went to work out at 530 am or would that add weight to me? I want to be down enough to get my 50 lb charm at WW wish me luck! If not next week I will definetly get it. I needed to lose 6.2 lbs to get it so I am not counting on that much of a loss but hopefully 4 lbs.

I ate so far today:
Oatmeal 6 points I was starving after the gym
Cheese sandwich 4 points
For dinner I will have a grilled chicken wrap with brown rice and veggies.
Snacks yogurt, pretzels, graham crackers 6 points total
cookies 4 points

I am nervous about tomorrow but excited too!
Michelle

Some exciting News!

2009-05-26T09:01:00.000-07:00

Me this past weekend in my goal shirt I bought months ago for 3.99 on clearance LOL

Me in 16 work out clothes a bit tight but hey they are on!

Me in my goal top that was so tight before but I wore it out the 1st time and it was big falling off my shoulders!!!

Ok maybe not for you but for me this is huge! I have been trying to hard to get into the next decade and my scale reads 250.0 I need to lose a tad more and I will be in the next decade. To say I was 313 and say I am 240 something will be huge to me. In almost 11 months I so need to do this THIS week! If I get to 248 at WW I will get my 50lb WW charm!!!! I want that damn charm.

So this morning I went to the gym I did the stairstepper to burn 225 calories going up 44 flights of stairs. The bike I did 125 and rode 5.1 miles. I walked 1.60 and the baby was done and wanted out of the childcare area so I burned 193. I was close to 600 calories so tonight I am going back to the gym and will do the Elliptical and burn 200 calories and go to the treadmill to walk run 3 miles.

Here is some more good news!
My measurements
Sept 2008 May 2009 8 months later
59 waist 47 1/2 11 1/2 inches gone
20 calf 17 1/2 2 1/2 inches gone
14 arm 12 1/2 1 1/2 inches gone
48 bust 39 9 inches gone
TOTAL INCHES LOST 24 1/2 inches
Weight lost in 8 months 30 lbs
Lesson learned....the scale might not be moving like I want but my body is changing and that is a good thing.

Made it thru the weekend and I am proud

2009-05-25T18:44:00.000-07:00

I was very scared about this weekend and the BBQ's. I was at pool parties for each so I knew I would be working off some calories.
Today I didn't count I know you only count on the days you want to lose weight.....
But I ate
3 pt waffles
cheeseburger with lil ketchup, mustard and pickles
Some scoopable chips with dip made with chili cheese and cream cheese....very very bad for me so I ate only 5 and didn't dip each one.
I had 3 wine coolers and those have empty calories :-(
I ate a WW cupcake I made that is only 2 pts
crackers 4 pts

Looking at this typed up I don't think I went over my 31 points and my activity points I earned because.................... I walked this morning for 2 hours with my girlfriends. We found a new walking trail they just did by our subdivision we got out of the house at 9 and didn't make it back until 11. I was sweating like a beast and ran some but not much. It was so hot outside.

Later that night when we were at the pool party everyone was leaving I told my friends lets go do the laps. I did laps up and down the pool using various methods, breaststroke, backstroke, anything I could think of. We got out the noodles and did some water aerobics. Stomach crunches, moving using only our arms sitting on the noodle, and spinning with the noodle holding us up with our arm. We worked out for about 40 minutes in the pool.

Tomorrow morning back into the gym where I will go for 2 hours in the am. I want to get to my 1000 calories for the day in the am. At night I will go again with my friend and we will do weight training.

I am so motivated and I realized maybe winter is not my time. Maybe that will always be my struggle. Maybe I need a bathing suit to motivate me. I feel like I have my butt in gear and I can do this. My girlfriend said I am so motivated and obsessed about this that this time it is going to work. Yea it is because if it doesn't I will die trying LOL. I will do whatever it takes!

Good night Talk to you later!
Michelle

Nike Attitude....Just Do It......

2009-05-24T21:25:00.000-07:00

I was at the gym today and I was on the treadmill a older lady maybe in her late 40's came next to me to do the treadmill. We are going about the same pace and we are working out side by side. I get off after a 1.5 walk run and go to the Elliptical she comes to the Elliptical near me and she says you have that Nike Attitude. I said really what is that? She says you just do it. Good for you and I want to tell you that you are doing great....keep it up! I was so happy.

You see I am a big girl in the gym I don't let it bother me. I run on the treadmill. I have sweat coming down my face, arms, legs, and my clothes are drenched when I leave. I often crack people up when trying out new machines with my laughter and asking questions from the guys who know what the hell they are doing. I love my gym!

Today I went to my friends for a party....she is on WW too down 85 lbs in 19 months. We decided to swim laps in her pool I did 50 laps before it started pouring and we had to go in. We are walk running a 5K tomorrow morning. I have been at the gym Fri, Sat, Sun for 2 hours at a time buring 1000 calories. I am so losing this week and if I don't hello ISSUES!!!!

She said I can come swim anytime in her pool and we are going to get water aerobics things for the pool. Hopefully the pool will do something for me.

Today I hate
wheat waffles 3 points
fiber 1 bar 2 points
2 graham crackers 2 points
key lime pie 3 points
pizza 6 points
ziti small little bit 3 points
garlic knots 4 points
crackers (way to many of these and the point value is way to high to ever eat these again) 8 points
Total 32 points not the most healthy day but it was a fun day.

Tomorrow is another BBQ day but at another pool so I will be doing laps again.
Happy Memorial Day!
Michelle

I have a choice daily

2009-05-22T10:12:00.001-07:00

I can go to the gym or stay home
I can stay on point or go over...or sometimes go under

This is all me. I was up .6 this week and I stayed under at 20 points this week.....my hard head had to see it on the scale to believe what everyone was telling me.

So today I went to the gym 2x already and it is only 1:13pm. I dropped the kids off at school at 9 and headed to the gym until 1020. The baby was crying and I was at 750 calories burned. I wanted to burn 1000 and do weights for 20 minutes. So I got the baby went home fed him and had breakfast myself. Some whole wheat waffles and sugar free syrup 3 points total. In addition to my fiber 1 bar this am which was 2 points I had 5 points so far. I got my little girl at preschool at noon and headed back to the gym with her. Hopefully her baby brother will be happier having his sister with him. It worked. I went back to the gym and got on the stairstepper did 35 flights of stairs and burned 200 calories and went to the elliptical where I did 1.5 miles and burned 202 calories so I met my 1000 calories today and actually did 1100!!!!

I got home and got out my flat out bread italian style and put some marinara in and 6 slices of pepperoni and not even 1/2 a cup of fat free cheese and made my own hot pocket for 7 points. I am at 12 points for the day.....1100 calories down and weight training down.

I had a choice to go to the gym or stay home. I had a choice in that meeting when I was told Good Job Michelle you went down 3.2 and I freaked out excited to hear another big loss.....only to have her say oh wait you went to a different center last week please get back on the scale and she says oh I am sorry honey you are up .6.....heart sinks rush out to the bathroom and want to scream and saying to myself all the while..........WHY AM I DOING THIS? Why don't I just get the damn gastric bypass surgery my dr. talked about? Why don't I just give up and live at 250ish pounds? Why don't I just quit and let whatever happens happens?

BECAUSE I MADE A CHOICE!
I made good choices so far today and let's hope that it keeps up. My game plan for the rest of today is this:
Dinner some chicken breast that I have been marinating in Italian Seasoning since yesterday a 1/2 cup of brown rice and a veggie mixture that I am going to try. Have I told you I hate Veggies? That would be a understatement but I have to try them. I need to eat more filling foods so I am going to try it.

I have popcorn for 1 point as a snack and while on carpool today I will have 7 wheat pretzels for 2 points. I will figure out the rest of my points for the day after I weigh my chicken tonight to see how many points I have. I am going to a carnival with the kids so hopefully I will have enough points left over for the day to have a treat but if not....I have a choice to make and I hopefully will make the right one.

Tomorrow I will get up and head to the gym after dropping my little girl off at gymnastics for 2 hours so hopefully I will be able to get those 1000 calories burned again and the 3 other kids will hang out in childcare and let mommy do her thing!

This week up .6 next week who knows. I got my period this week too so hopefully I will see a loss cause this momma needs it. I am sad....discouraged.....but trying to make the choice to stay the course. I know I can do this......I want this so bad!
Michelle

How much have you lost in a year?

2009-05-20T08:45:00.000-07:00

Just curious what everyone has lost in a year. I am so trying to lose 100 lbs total by my year anniversary of WW which is August 12. My friend has lost over 125 lbs exercising and eating right in 10 months. She said I can do it the 100 lbs total I have 41 more to go if I am consistent in the exercise dept. AND eating right. But seriously I wonder what the heck she is eating. I am working out more than she was and still my weight is all over the place up down up down.

My husband told me today to not get on the scale at home anymore so I think it might end up in the garage sale. I have been thinking back on what happened in November when I stopped losing weight so fast.
A few things
1. mom came to visit and I felt like crap about myself so self sabotage
2. breastfeeding started to slow down eventually ending
3. got the scale
4. joined the town gym
5. started working out with a new friend

So my mom I need to stop letting her negativity control my weight loss or my self esteem. Breastfeeding well that isn't happening again LOL but I have to admit I did try to get my supply back and up he was not a willing participant so I stopped. He wasn't gaining weight with the weight I was losing he was not gaining and the dr. told me I had to do formula. I got that scale which I weigh myself at least every 2 hours....I am bad. I joined a small town gym with a neighbor. She is 160 and needs to lose about 30 lbs. She is a great walking partner if I want to walk and talk but she doesn't have the large amount I have to lose and she doesn't need to work out as hard as me. I need to push myself to not being able to speak where she doesn't. So when I was working out with her I didn't push myself.

So anyway back to the original topic....I tend to go off at times and skip topics. Can you share what you have lost in a year with your dieting and exercise plans?
Thanks
Michelle

I lost 4 lbs!!!!

2009-05-16T13:42:00.000-07:00

So this week was a bad week emotionally for me and I still lost...perhaps my mind won this battle and I turned more for the large jug of water I carry with me vs. the food. I did have on our 1st night in VA way to many slices of pizza and I said I don't care at that point and ate it. I felt sick afterwards. On our way home from VA I ate at Five Guys burger place and got the big burger......not a smart idea but still down 4 lbs. I weighed in and the lady said good job down 4 lbs and I was in shock! She said sometimes your body needs that it needs a jump start. So not bad down 6 lbs in 2 weeks...perhaps the plateau has been broken!

I am excited again about this journey hopeful that I will be able to get to my goal.

My mother in law was laid to rest on Thursday and it was so heartbreaking but I know that she is in heaven looking down on all of us. She is no longer in pain and that brings us all comfort. I regret she will never get to see me here on earth skinny. My husbands family who have not seen me in sometime were all wowed and said what have you been doing? I laughed because some of them the last time they saw me was at our wedding and I was the same weight. I guess my shape has changed since they last saw me but the numbers are still the same.

My 50 lb charm at WW is only 5.6 lbs away. Hopefully I can get it this May!!! I will officially be down 65 lbs when I get the charm.

Here's to another good week for us all!
Michelle

My MIL Died 5-8-09

2009-05-10T09:47:00.000-07:00

My mother in law passed away on Friday. My husband and his family were all with her. He made the drive from NC to VA (4 hours but took 6 with a major accident) and she died within the hour of him getting to her hospital bed. He said her eyes were moving when he started to talk to her. I believe she was waiting for him. She couldn't speak to him or see him but she could hear him.

My heart is breaking for him and his family. So close to Mother's Day and he forgot today when he called me and I told him the kids wanted to call his mom today....they don't know yet we will tell them together when he comes home tomorrow. The funeral and services will be later in the week so he is coming to get me and we will go together back to VA.

Please keep them in your prayers.
Michelle

Prayers Please-My MIL is sick

2009-05-07T02:30:00.000-07:00

Ok so this isn't about weight but it is about my life. My MIL and I aren't really that close I always felt like I took her only son away. We lived in VA and moved to NC....we lived blocks away from her so it hurt I am sure. But we had to do what was best for our family. Anyway she was never in that great of health. Lupus, diabetes, and severe foot issues requiring surgery.

Well Saturday my husband gets a call that she was brought to the hospital. She was in severe pain. Seems she has been in pain for 2 weeks the Drs. were telling her to go to the hospital she said no. She went for a MRI the machine was broken they rescheduled for this week but by Saturday the pain got to be to bad and she told her husband let's go to the hospital. Well they found spots on her liver and kidneys. She had biopsies done on Tuesday and we are awaiting the results. She had a full body scan on Wednesday and we haven't heard the results yet.

I lost my grandmother 20 months ago. My mom was a single mother my grandmother helped raise me we lived with her and my gpa after my parents divorced when I was 6. It was as if I lost my mom and I am telling you I have no idea how to help my husband. I want to be with him, help hold him up while awaiting these test results. I remember laying on the floor crying awaiting the news she made it out of surgery alive. I will never forget sitting with her for 7 days in hospice and as she took her last breath. I don't want that to happen to my husband or anyone for that matter. His mom is only in her late 50's she is a wonderful woman and I am asking you to please pray for her. Pray for my husband. I am hoping that this is just some fluke thing and maybe a infection but they are telling us be prepared for the worse case.

We are heading up to VA this weekend. Please keep us in your prayers on our journey. Somehow todays WI doesn't seem so important afterall.
Hugs,
Michelle

I got hurt

2009-05-06T09:17:00.000-07:00

I was walking out the door to the gym and I didn't land right when I took the stop down from the door...I heard a pop and I couldn't put weight on my left ankle. That was 2 nights ago and I have gone to the gym and I have been working out on it but it is hurting really bad today. I even ran for 7 MINUTES STRAIGHT!!!! I think I have a bad sprain or something. I feel like it is rubbing or something when it hurts. It is at random times. If I am sitting for awhile and I go to get up it hurts. Or even walking if my foot turns a certain wait it hurts.

My husband said not to run anymore until I feel 100% and if not better by Friday to make a appt. for Friday with the Dr. I will see....speaking of my husband it is 9 years ago today that we got married. Who knew we would end up so far from where we lived when we met and in a new state with 4 amazing little ones. I am at the weight I was when we got married so that is pretty cool....but I was also 7 months pregnant LOL

My pants that I wore and they were so tight I have noticed are not so tight they are getting loose. I love that feeling. I really hope that my plateau is over tomorrow! I am going to WW in a pair of light cotton shorts and light cotton tee so that I will be light....I have to go to my daughters dress rehersal afterwards so I am bringing clothes I would let people see me in LOL to change into afterwards. We are going into the meeting before the actual center opens so we can get weighed in and say goodbye to our receptionist who is leaving....we love her!

I am so thrilled with the progress I have made with the treadmill. I really need to just keep going. While on it I said to myself over and over if you are not throwing up or dieing or passing out don't stop! I just kept making myself go. I was walking for 5 minutes at first to warm up and started to run. It felt great to know I could do it that long.

I am going to start weights this next week. I think my body is used to doing the same things and I need to add more weights into it. Also the gym has a large basketball court that some ladies go out and work out in privacy...I might do that too. I really want to try that balance thing it is like a ball on one side and flat on the other. I want to do that I hear it is to build your core strength. I also so a sit up machine I want to try.

Be on the lookout for tomorrows update....hopefully I am down at least 3-4 lbs!!! I hope so!
Michelle

Inspiration

2009-05-03T10:39:00.000-07:00

Reading everyones blogs really puts into perspective how hard of a battle this is for everyone not just me. I find I beat myself up and do the wrong things like say ok well I am up 2 lbs let me just go and get a small fries to ease the pain....yea that small fry turns into a large fry, burger, and shake cause I am so upset. I need to be more like my blogging buddies and go to the gym when I get upset.

I love seeing everyones before and after pictures. Or reading about dropping sizes....who doesn't love that? Also reading about jiggle LOL as a future jiggler I will welcome the jiggle as long as the fat that was filling it out is all gone.

I am down again today and so excited. I have been making wise food choices and drinking lots and lots of water. My daughter weighed herself today she is 84 lbs. At her age I was 130 lbs at 8. She told me she wants to be 72 lbs. I told her whatever she wants she has to work for it. She said she would. Not that I would let her get to 72 lbs and I am not even sure where she pulled that number out of her head. I would like her to lose and get to 78 6 lbs gone on her won't be bad. She has a belly and I want to help her lose that. But she doesn't have to. Again wise food choices and bit more activity is all it will take with her.

Perhaps my dedication and weight loss will inspire those around me to do something about it. You have a choice stay fat or do something about it. I choose to do something about it.

Scale is moving down

2009-05-02T18:07:00.000-07:00

Ok so the scale is moving in the right direction.
My home scale I weigh myself in the am I get up go and pee and get on the scale in only underwear LOL maybe a bit TMI.

So since last Sat
Sat 262.2
Sun 261.4
Mon 262.6
Tues 263.2
Wed 262.8
Thur 261.2
Fri 258.6
Sat 258.2

So that is down 4 lbs in a week on my home scale! YEA!!!! I am so excited. I really want to get this weight off. I realized with our anniversary coming up 9 years on Wednesday that I wanted to renew our vows in my dream gown. I hated my wedding gown and I want a do over. So my motivation is to be able to wear my dream gown next May. I have been sticking to my points and I have been at the gym. I realized also the water I have not been keeping up with the water. So I am drinking water so much I feel I am going to float away. The bathroom has become my best friend.

Let's hope that I can keep this loss going until Thur and hopefully be down 5-6 lbs at WW.
Michelle

A brand new day

2009-05-01T08:15:00.001-07:00

OK so I am not suppose to weigh myself daily my friends tell me but I am down 1.4 today from yesterday. I went out last night but before going out I went to the gym.

My workout was:
1 mile on the treadmill running walking
15 min on the elliptical
15 min on the stairstepper I went up 39 floors LOL
15 min on the bike
I burned over 600 calories.

I am feeling really good today and will go back to the gym tonight and do weights and I am only going to the treadmill and stairstepper tonight. I plan on doing 1/2 hour on treadmill and 1/2 hour on the stepper and 15 minutes working on the weight machines with my arms and legs.

Maybe I am in a funk or something as everyone around me gets smaller and smaller and I am still here struggling to get into the 240's. Seriously though I am struggling to get to the 240's from 313 10 months ago....I am amazed I can even say that. Some people don't lose what I have in these last 10 months in a year so I should be thankful that it has worked maybe not where I want to be but it has worked somewhat.

Ohhhhhh and I realized maybe I am not drinking enough cause yesterday I was drinking and drinking and I think that really does help. So today I got out my big 54 oz water jug and filled it up and drank it and in between running to the bathroom I got it filled again and I am 1/2 way done with it.....I will be in the bathroom all day and night LOL peeing away the pounds!

XOXO
M

The Damn Scale Hates Me

2009-04-30T11:40:00.000-07:00

That or food LOVES me. Either way something has to give. I talked in my meeting today about my plateau and how the Wendie Plan just didn't work for me. My leader Carolyn told me you need the CP Plan the Carolyn Plan and that is Follow MOMENTUM nothing else.
She said that she wants me to email her what I am eating and working out and she will help me get back on track. I haven't really reached out to her the way I should have been. I am stuck.

I am up .4 this week. Heck it isn't even 1/2 a pound but COME ON MAN for the love of all good foods why can't I catch a break. Ok so the last 6 weeks
-.2
-1.2
+.6
-.6
+2.6
+.4
That is just freaking insane!!!! My butt is being worked out to the max in the gym. I am eating my points. What is going on....only thing I can figure is I am pregnant. This is what happened with my baby. I was going my weight was staying the same and I realized I was pregnant. I have gotten a period though just this past 17th so I am so confused. My mom said she got her period for 6 months while pregnant with me. I never got my period while pregnant with my 4 kids....I can't be pregnant but I think something else might be wrong so I am going for a physical. I am scheduling a appointment for me and my husband.

Yet again I will be doing better.
I am going to log what I eat here too.
Breakfast @ WW fiber 1 bar 2pts
Brownie bar at WW sample 1 pt
Pasta with marinara sauce 12 pts worth
I am going to Applebee's for dinner and will use up my 16 other points on dinner

I know I didn't have fruit or veggies added in so tomorrow I will do that....maybe not so much the veggies as I HATE Veggies.

The lady at our meeting who died we believe it was cancer. I heard that and my heart sank. So many cancers are caused my excess weight. How can I do this to me how can I do this to my family I need to get this weight off. I need to be healthy. I have 4 little kids looking up to me to be a good role model I NEED TO DO THIS FOR ME AND FOR THEM.

This is the start of a new week for me. A week that hopefully I will be down and not up or not even. I am heading to the gym this evening before going out so hopefully that will help me make good food choices. I am sure I will be using some of my 35 weekly points tonight!

Hugs and thanks for reading my blog.
M

Note to self....

2009-04-28T11:28:00.000-07:00

As I watch the scale go back and forth back and forth it goes from 259.2 up to 267.4 yesterday I can't help but wonder. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON inside of me! Ok maybe I was never meant to be skinny but I surely to God was not meant to be this big. I have been at this point for the last 6 months. I am trying and it seems nothing is working. The Wendie plan I am holding out hope on Thursday at WW I will see a loss.

But at the same time I can't beat myself up. My hubby just came home for lunch and I said look I am doing the working out part of it maybe I need to mix up my food part as well. I eat WW frozen meals for lunch and dinner most days and do cereal or yogurt for breakfast. Snacks normally are pretzels, ww bars, ww muffins, popcorn, and sometimes fruit.

My daughter told me today I am getting fat again. Again didn't know I ever was skinny....this from a 4 year old. I don't want her to remember me fat. I want her to remember the fun mom who could do anything with her and not get tired. Which by the way can I mention today I ran on the treadmill at 4.6 mph for 5 minutes Yes Ladies and Gents 5 whole minutes. I wanted to quit after 1 min 30 seconds but said this isn't hurting I should just keep going and I went on and on and on. I loved it and it made a mile go so much faster. I was doing walk run intervals while on the treadmill.

I am going to try not to beat myself up to much over all of this I know one way or another I am going to get this weight off and be healthy for me and my family.
M

The Wendie Plan info

2009-04-26T18:57:00.000-07:00

Ok Thanks so much for telling me about this. I was just looking it up online and it makes sense for me. I have been for the last 6 months at the 31 pts range....my body is used to that I need to mix it up. So below is some info on the plan from Stephanie B I copied her post. Thanks Steph and it has the weights points range as well if anyone else wants to try it with me this week!

Here is a link
http://www.traineo.com/topics/541?pg=1

I am going to work this points system for the week.
Monday 28 pts
Tuesday 33 pts
Wednesday 29 pts
Thursday 43 pts (WI day so I will cheat afterwards and eat more)
Friday 28 pts
Saturday 32 pts
Sunday 30 pts

So that totals up to 31 and some change a day on average and my average is 31 pts. So this doesn't have me using my activity points but that is ok I will try it hopefully it will break my plateau....oh and a lady lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks...hey a girl can dream right!

Anyone else want to try this with me?

Oh the pain of running

2009-04-26T18:20:00.000-07:00

OK so my thighs are killing me today. My friend told me it is because of the stepped up running. Ouch!

As far as eating no I don't really track...I do it in my head....I know I need to use my 3 month tracker I purchased and not let it be a dust collector. I am going to check out the website that was mentioned in my comments below and break this plateau.

I am hitting the gym in the am and again at night if my friend wants to go. I am her work out partner but I am not waiting to go at night because I would rather go at 6am when my kids are asleep and at night well I can do that if my friend wants to go but I prefer the morning. My other friend told me she would show me some other equipment in the gym as the trainer told me I need to mix it up. OK mix it up I shall do.

Also the 5K I am doing me and my girlfriends that are doing it together are going to walk run it to test it out and see how we do. We are going to time ourselves and again in June when it happens and again next year and see our times increase everytime we should hope.

On another note I lost a WW friend today. Her name is Darla. If you go to WW meetings do you have someone that stands out? This girl did she had lost I think 24 lbs in 6 weeks and her mom and her went to the meetings. I looked for her this Thur and she wasn't at the meeting. I got the paper today and the obituary section was open and I looked (I always try to avoid it I hate seeing young people in the obits) and I saw her picture. I was shocked and emailed our leader. She said Darla's mom actually called her and told her. So if you pray can you say a prayer for Darla she was only in her 40's I don't know how she died all that I know is she leaves behind a family and friends who will miss her terribly. She was always so bubbly with her mom and they looked like they had a wonderful relationship.

I am off to bed 6am is going to get her soon. Good Night and please stay safe.
Michelle

Just some stuff

2009-04-25T09:44:00.000-07:00

Ok seriously what the hell is wrong with my body? How do I not lose weight? What can I do at the gym to mix it up? The only machine left that I don't do is the stairmaster which I will try to do tonight when I go back. I went this morning and did
Treadmill 30 minutes alternating running 2 min walking 2 min
Elliptical for 10 minutes
Bike for 20 minutes
I burned 500 calories according to the machines so tonight I am going to go back and do it all over again so I can burn 1000 calories a day that is my goal.

But ok add the stairmaster in. What will that do to mix it up? I do the weights during the week Mon, Wed, Fri and I do a leg machine well 2 leg machines, one for the butt, and 1 for the arms/upper body. I haven't started walking yet with weights in my hands maybe I should do that.

I am mixing up my food this week too. I really am getting fed up being in the same range for the last 6 months. I have been in the 250's to low 260's ENOUGH ALREADY!

Any ideas what else I can do? We are going to get the pool up and running hopefully this month so I will also do my water aerobics during the day and also swim some laps so maybe that will help. I just need something not sure what it is but this 250 weight range is for the birds!

HELP ME ANYONE LOL I am welcome to all suggestion.
M

So "IT" happened today

2009-04-25T05:31:00.000-07:00

A mom in gymnastics said to me today....Michelle what are you doing are you walking these days? I said yea walking but hitting the gym too tons. She said well Girl I meant to tell you the other day when I saw you that you look great. I told her how I am down almost 65 lbs and she said that is amazing and to keep up the good job.

This is a mom who doesn't know about my journey she just noticed it. I am so excited. I have had people who know and I had it happen once before with someone that I know but this was a mom who just sees me at the gymnastics school.

It felt really good. I went home and asked my hubby is this a slimming outfit cause a mom said something to me and he said yea it is slimming but you are getting slimmer too LOL. It was a new top and a pair of pants that were so tight on me a few months ago and they were loose.

I am off to the gym again. I went yesterday at 6am to get my work out done because last night we had things to do. I am going to try to go 2x a day once at 6am and once again at night if I can get away from the kids for a hour. Not sure if hubby will like that but oh well.

Ok onto another topic excess skin. So it is really hot here I had on a pair of shorts pj's yesterday and I was on the couch with my daughter and she was telling me to do exercises with her and I raised my leg it looked like a upside down mushroom. It was smaller at the toe area and the excess went down to my thigh it looked so weird. The weight is readjusting itself. I just dread the excess skin. I really think I am going to start a savings account for surgery to get it removed. I told my family I would have surgery for a tummy tuck, excess skin on my arms and thighs if it is really bad only after 2 years of meeting and staying at goal. I have a friend who did gastric bypass had a full body lift and is back up 60+ lbs and regrets doing all those surgeries. So I want to be sure I can maintain my body before I do surgery.....oh and a boob lift LOL Can't forget that. But heck I needed that after breastfeeding 4 kids so that might come even if I can't maintain the weight loss.....but that isn't going to happen I will be able to maintain!

Alright I am off to the gym...off to sweat.....off to lose a few pounds!
Michelle

Starting over

2009-04-23T19:43:00.000-07:00

Ok so I told myself today going into my meeting I know I will be up and I was up 2 lbs but I pigged out last night as I was throwing out the junk from the parties this weekend (cakes, cookies, chips) I kept having one or two or ok three. But I told myself you will pay for this.

I walked into WW head held high, yep I ate that junk, yep I went overboard in Disney but is it the end of the world? Nope So the couch to 5 k thing is the same thing that they send me on the teamweightwatcher.com site. So I am going to do it. I am doing a 5K here in June and look forward to doing it with my friends.

11 lbs in 3 weeks that is what I am striving for. I had only water today I am cutting out the diet soda. Summer is almost here and I love water so that is what I am doing. I also decided to change up my diet I have been eating the same things for so long. Maybe my body needs a good old shake up. Be ready body because the shaking up has begun!!!!

I heard a little girl a friend of my daughters who here mom has dropped over 125 lbs in 10 months she started when I did a few weeks before and she is a working out machine anyway my daughter said your mom lost a lot of weight. She answered yea isn't it great? I thought I want a kid saying that to my girls.

I still love looking in the mirror at myself or when I catch my reflection because I see how far I have come but I need more. When people see me that haven't seen me in awhile I want them to say WOW. I want to wear my size 14 goal dress that I bought.

Thinking back on my starts and stops with WW I realized I was always a quitter. When I saw that the weight wasn't coming off right away I would stop. This time the weight flew off in the beginning and it has stalled. I will not be a quitter this time. It is science at this point that I am fighting with. I know if I eat less, work out more I WILL LOSE WEIGHT.

Got a Stomach Bug lost 12 lbs!!!!! YIPPEE

2009-04-22T12:07:00.000-07:00

But 3 came back in 1 day LOL. OK so tomorrow is my 1st day back at WW since we got back from Disney. I am hoping to be down but ok with whatever the scale says. So this past week I had my family in from NJ for my kids baptisms and 1st Communion for my oldest DD.

It was a crazy week and I put on weight after the stomach bug went away. But I told myself today ok Michelle get back in the saddle realize how close you are to being at 65 lbs gone forever! So I have a goal for May of being at 247 so I can get my 50 lb weight charm at WW and before I joined I lost 15 lbs so I will be down 65 lbs. It has taken so much longer than I expected. I really thought I would be near my goal at this point. So 34 years it took to get this fat....if I can cut it down to say 3 years to get to my goal I will be sad but know in my mind that realistically losing 150+ lbs in 1 year 2 years is hard 3 years probably a more realistic goal. In my heart I am saying how did I ever get this way and why won't it come off as easy as it comes on?????

I am doing a 5K in June and I am starting to train for it doing the couch to 5K. It should be fun I am doing it with some girlfriends and we plan to walk run walk run and than run into my friends pool LOL.

Here is a pic of me and my family from this weekend. That is a size XL jacket from the regular side as well as 18 paints and XL top from the regular size as well.

I am back....computer crashed!

2009-04-13T13:39:00.001-07:00

I am so sorry it has been so long. My computer crashed a few weeks ago and it has been in the shop. I went away to Disney this past week on vacation and I got a call while on the Pooh ride in Disney the computer was ready! I was so happy. I missed the biggest loser blog edition 3x so I am kicked out of the challenge but maybe next time. I need it anyway cause I gained 7 lbs at Disney in a week. 1 lb a week ughhh but that is ok I lived it up had a good time and I am over it.
I felt like crap all week long eating that junk food but I had fun. I went with two other WW buddies and we all knew we gained. I have to say I had fun, I knew what I was eating was not the right choices but I loved the food and I knew that the stomach rumbles I was having were from the bad choices. I made the decision to eat that stuff I paid for it.
I am off to the gym again tonight and again this week I will go 2x a day to get it down to where I was before I went! I MUST!
Glad to be back and I will be catching up with everyone over the next week!
Michelle

I got my MOJO BACK!!!!

2009-03-12T19:27:00.000-07:00

I am not down much only .2 LOL but heck it is down.
My mom finally left on Tuesday and after hearing her tell me I am still fat and feeling sorry for myself I really realize it after months of saying it I finally think I GET IT. This is up to me. I can't worry what others think of me. I need to love myself for the hard work I put to get this far. I need to car about my body to make it last me as long as humanly possible.
I went to the gym today and worked out for 10 miles combined on the bike, treadmill, elliptical and burned 550 calories. I am going again tomorrow morning and again tomorrow afternoon. My plan is to burn 1000 calories a day. I am going to do all I can to get this weight off and look somewhat cute this summer LOL.

I also wanted to update you on something else wonderful in my life. My daughter the gymnast had her 3rd meet this past weekend. I am having a proud momma moment here. She came in 1st place on the bars and floor routine. She came in 2nd on the beam and 3rd on the vault. She was 2nd overall out of 62 kids and we are thrilled. The last 2 meets she has come in 2nd place and she made it to states. That is the 21st and she will be at her home gym so we hope it makes her more confident and she can break that 2nd place hurdle and come in 1st place....either way I am so proud of her for just getting up on that floor and doing her routines. All my kids make me so proud in various ways and I need to find the Skinny Under my Fat for them and me.

You will be seeing less of me in pictures I can promise you that! Oh and my mom and me have a bet. I made her sign up for WW and she and I said if we both don't lose 10 lbs by Disney on April 5 we will have to eat liver and onions....I HATE BOTH so does she so we are going to do this together...my husband knows the bet so he will be enforcing it LOL.

Peace & Love my friends!
M

Up is all I can say.

2009-03-08T05:51:00.000-07:00

I had a bad week I thought I would be able to get off the pasta I "Had" to have one day it was a huge bowl I made it for the family and didn't want it to go to waste. That junk turns to fat on my body and I ate it weighed myself the next day and I was up 4 lbs. The rest of the week I got up an additional 6 lbs. I worked my butt off and got down 3 lbs of the 6 by the time I got to WI at WW. So I am going to keep up with my exercise schedule. I haven't gone since my mom came but we are doing activity together.

On Thursday I went to WI and my mom came. She had gained 50 lbs in the last 2 years and it is really noticable and she isn't comfortable in her skin. So I said you are fat and old you need to lose weight....might sound harsh but she had been harsh with me. She said you may have lost all that weight but I just don't see it. I said WHAT????? She said I don't see it yet. Yea fun that is the way this vacation with her would be I thought? So I got her to sign up to WW. We have been tracking and I am hoping she loses weight. She needs to lose about 120 lbs and I want her to do it. I am 8 lbs more than my mom....I am going to pass her this month.

I had a talk with her and said I went from October up and down since she came. I said I was 268 and got to 253 since that point. I felt like her visit sabotaged me. She said ok this visit is a kick in the ass for you and that I need to lose weight again the way I was. I am going to try. I need to lose some more weight before Disney and get a spanx for my goal dress for Disney. It fits but it needs a little help hiding my belly LOL.

I am excited for this weeks WI and today we are cleaning all the cars as a family. That I have been told is a great workout. So I will do that and go to the gym once today vs two times.

I hope everyone had a great WI. I will not let this setback be a permanent situation. I can control this and I will lose the weight.
I am also realizing this is not a 1 year deal I will take longer to lose all the weight but that should help me be able to keep it off and maintain as I work on learning the proper way to eat.

Michelle

NY & Co Clothing Store

2009-03-04T11:42:00.000-08:00

Well I have always liked to LOOK at the clothes and thought man wouldn't it be nice to fit into them? I went to the mall last night with my girlfriends and I tried on a pair of pants a cute bow tank top that had a bow over the chest a bit and a sweater....THEY FIT! The pants were on clearnance for 7.99 they had tons of clearance if you want to shop at the store RUN TO YOUR NEAREST STORE and check out clearance. But they didn't have the pants in a 10-12-14 and that is all that I am willing to buy for next winter. These were a 18 and they fit but they hopefully won't fit next winter!

I am tired from the gym getting up at 530 am is not easy and working during the day, raising the kids, it is tiring and than going back at night OMG! I am burning 1000 calories a day and surely to God I better see some results that are big negatives in my WW book!

My mom is coming to visit she arrives tonight. When she came in October that is where my mojo went away and I had started my up and downs. I haven't been able to get out of this range of 260-250's since she came. Am I blaming her NO! But I am thinking that I might have issues that need to be resolved with my mom me and food. She is overweight and wants me to lose the weight so bad that she pays for WW for me to go. I pray that I don't have a gain for the week that she is here. I am planning on taking her to the track with me to walk the 3 miles a day in the morning and at night when I go to the gym she can relax with hubby and the kids.

Slowly but surely I am finding the skinny under my fat.
Peace & Love
M

Went to the gym today and had to share

2009-02-28T12:16:00.000-08:00

OK so I went today at 11 am with the 4 kids in childcare at the gym. I used the bike, treadmill, and elliptical right outside the glass windows so I could watch them.

Holy Cow I can't believe what I did.
I rode the bike for 20 miles.
I did the elliptical for 1.5 miles and did that in 15 minutes.
I rode the bike again for another 5 miles.
I got on the treadmill for 5 minutes and left cause the kids took the baby out of his carseat and I saw them hand him to another little girl...guess my time was up.
But I burned close to 600 calories and I feel really good.

I never rode for 25 miles on anything before just a car. I am so excited. I also saw a class going on that I am going to sign up for with the treadmill. They get your heartrate to a certain level and kick your butt with hand weights and going on the treadmill. I figure what is the worst that can happen I fall off the thing? So I am going to do it.

I am kicking it up a notch or two LOL. I called my nighttime workout partner and told her I am going in the am too if she wants to join me. I am so going to do this I am going to get down hopefully to the 230's even if it is 239 by April 5 for Disney. I gotta do it! Wish me luck!
Michelle

Stayed the Same but ok with it

2009-02-28T06:35:00.000-08:00

So I stayed the exact same as last week I am ok with that. I lost 5.2 lbs last week I can't expect to have a large loss after a loss like that. Did I want a loss yea....I was in the gym daily eating on point but adding weights back in so I am ok. But I have decided to kick it up a notch.

My trainer asked if I was paying attention to calories? I said no I do points never really looked at calories. So they have me burning 500 calories a session. So yesterday I ate 1460 in calories and I burned 500 so I ate 960. I talked to my husband and I am going to kick it up a notch for this month and see what happens.

I am going to the gym from 6-7am M-F I will walk/run on the treadmill for 1/2 hour. I will do the bike for 15 min and the elliptical for 15 minutes. I should burn about 300 calories.
I will go back at night for a hour and a half and I will do a circuit of
15 elliptical
15 treadmill
15 bike and repeat it all 1 more time. I am not going to use the weights for the next month and just work on getting the fat off.

My goal was to be 199 by Disney....that is out the window but I am going to work on getting into the low 130's by Disney (April 5-11).

So this way I will be burning about 800 calories a day and I will be eating around 1400. I will see how it goes. I figure if I am doing 2 1/2 hours total in the gym a day I should be seeing better results. I am going to try it and see what happens.

In the Rec Center before I joined the "real gym" I was fine running on the treadmill. In the real gym it has a row of treadmills and behind them is the ellipticals and I hate that people can see my butt jiggle while I run LOL so I have yet to run in the gym but I have decided I am going to do it. Hell I am trying to lose weight just like they did or are trying to do.

I am tracking with my tracker and I also purchased a clicker that WW started selling to put on my keyring so I can track my points when I am out and about if I eat and remember to put it in the journal. Today after the gym I am going to the food store to stock up for the week. I also am stopping with all the WW meals. I will use them for dinner only not lunch too. I will make a healthy lunch on my own.

Wish me luck ladies! I really need to kick this up and get more weight off this is taking me sometime and I really thought I would be further along at this point.
Michelle

Pictures the way I was and today

2009-02-23T11:22:00.000-08:00

With my 2 favorite guys

In the 250's

Me at 313 Jalen would be born 5 days later

Yea me blowing up my face like a beached whale....look at those thunder thighs that belly looks like it was quads not a 6 lb 6 oz baby in it....gosh these make me sick!

Going out for Valentine's this year....250's

The way I was and never will go back to!

I am finding ME...

2009-02-23T10:43:00.000-08:00

I have been fat all my life. I was never the pretty skinny one in the crowd, never had the boys all trying to get to talk to me, never had the best outfit everyone wanted. I think that feeling like I was the fat one took a toll on me....well I don't think I KNOW it did. My mom told me once when she had those moments of telling me "Michelle I don't think you know how fat you really are." Yea nice right? Well she told me she thought I had the opposite of anorexia and that I see myself skinny. Ok so sometimes I would catch a glimse of myself and say WOW I am big. But I never realized it until I saw that damn scale go to 313 lbs. OMG I WAS HUGE I didn't want to gain another ounce. I was 9 months pregnant and I was miserable.

I gave birth and went on this weight loss journey with 3 other friends. I have always been a tell ya like it is kinda person....guess I got that from my mom (see above LOL). I am finding that I am no longer settling. If someone does something or gets on my nerves for something I am finding it easier to tell them about it. I did have some issues recently where my spirit was tested and I fell off track. I know I am a emotional eater but I had been doing so good with WW. I was losing and than this person I allowed to control my emotions and I got off track. I put on weight and I lost focus. I got so upset about it this week I called the person up and talked about it. Things will never be the same but we talked and I let it go....along with it I let go of 5.2 lbs this past week.

I know that this is a journey to find the skinny under my fat but at the same time I am finding the Michelle that has been buried inside of me. My mother also told me the world better watch out cause I was pretty bold already and with the weight coming off me I will only get bolder....her exact words after that were man you are really going to be a bitch. Well I won't get like that. I made my one really good girlfriend promise me she will tell me if I am changing in a bad way.

I am finding myself. I love who I am becoming on the outside and continue to love the inside of me and know that if I want to that I CAN DO THIS! It is in my power to either fail or succeed. I will not let failure be a option this time!

I came in 3rd this week!!!!

2009-02-22T18:47:00.001-08:00

YEA I am so happy...but I want the top spot LOL. I want to be the Biggest Loser of the Blog Edition! I lost 2% of my body this past week how friggin awesome is that?

Well I had to share something a tad bit crazy. So my mom went shopping a long time ago and bought me jeans at a sale. She bought me 18-16-14-12 and junior 19/20 capri pants that are to cute and nothing fit when she came here in October. Well I am wearing the 18's which I have been wearing 18's in Avenue and Lane Bryant and Apt 8 clothes from Kohl's but not Route 66 from Walmart/Kmart but I wore them today to a party and they were even a bit big. I also put on the junior 19/20 thinking they were going to be to tight and they were perfect. It is going to start getting warmer here and I have a few Capri pants well about 5 pairs in 18 so that should get me thru the summer I am thinking. They will get bigger and bigger but I can wear a belt. I don't want to buy tons of sizes because I won't last long in the size god willing.

I have been back in the gym on a daily basis again and today I did 12 miles on the bike, 2 miles on the elliptical and 1 mile on the treadmill. I loved working out before but these days watching the other people in the gym motivates me.

I am tired tonight but I will type more tomorrow....I have some stuff to get off my chest.
M

I am feeling good!

2009-02-19T11:34:00.001-08:00

Well the last few weeks I have been up up and away but finally I found the momentum again and I had a huge loss this week 5.2 lbs down...gone that you will never see back on me again. God Willing!

So I am less than I was 9 years ago....I find that hard to even imagine. I started back up at the gym daily and kicking it up a notch. I am still not going back to the trainer she is to good for my fat butt at this point. LOL She hurt me BAD! I do work on the at home stuff she showed me to my level of comfort and I have to say I believe it is working.

I am not sure how many of you are WW's but I wanted to chat a bit about meetings and if you are not a member and need a little extra support you might want to consider going to a meeting or two or three or four...until you find the right leader and right group to motivate you. Today we had a grandma in our meeting reach 50 lbs gone and she got her weight charm. She talked about her leg almost being taken before she lost the weight. It is crazy what weight can do to your body. It made me think why I started this journey. I am not doing this for me I am doing this for my children. In case you are new to my blog or in case I didn't tell you this before I can't remember at this point but my grandma and I are the same bodies same issues same surgeries etc. I watched her in 2007 die in hospice for a week I sat with her 24/7 only going home to shower maybe 4 times yea I must have been smelling really ripe LOL. But I watched her and thought I don't want to end up like this. I never want to do this to my children or my husband. She had 8 children and her husband and me by her when she passed. I know that one day I will die I know that but I know that by eating right and exercising I can prolong my life....well at least I can control that. I can't control getting hit by a drunk driver or getting killed by someone but I would hate for my kids and my husband to have to sit and watch me dieing from a illness brought on by my weight something I could control.

I look at the little baby boy jumping in his jumperoo next to me that I asked my grandmother to ask God when she got to heaven to send us a son and I know for him, Mikayla, Mya, Zoe and Erik and my mother too that I have to do this.

I weigh 254.6 lbs today. I have to get to delete 6.2 lbs from my body this week to get my 50 lb weight charm from WW. I am down total 58.8 lbs from the start of this journey. I have hit a few road bumps along the way but I am finding my way. I am finding the skinny under my fat....and when get to my ultimate destination I WILL NEVER GET LOST AGAIN!
Peace & Love my friends!
M

UP UP UP and Away!

2009-02-10T20:51:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in awhile I have been to busy EATING!!!! As I get on the new scale I bought last week I just keep seeing those numbers go up. I have gained another 3 lbs so I am up 6 lbs in 2 weeks. What the hell is wrong with me...ok this is the kick in the ass time the BLBE leaders were talking about.

Seriously I wanted to get to 199 by April 5 for Disney not happening. I changed that to my bday late June 199....that is going to be pushing it too.

I start out the day great journaling, good food choices, as the day goes on and wham I am eating crap again...not that bad of crap cause we are all on diets in the house so it is pretty healthy but my portions. ughhh

Oh and drive thrus....today Starbucks forget the diet version I got the whole shabang. Yesterday Chick Fil A for a grilled chicken sandwich and french fries all within my points range but I could have easily made a lower point food choice at home so I could have eaten within my points range for the day later that night.

I am still here still working at this but not working out. I have been in pain from that damn trainer and I haven't gone back to the gym. I am going tomorrow. It has been a week or almost a week. I am going to cancel our session for tomorrow night and tell her my way has been working I was losing the weight and I am going to stick with it until I am stronger her stuff was just to much for my big body it hurt for to long. I was not ready for that. I shouldn't have been in that kind of pain for 4-5 days KWIM?

I wanted to update you all here didn't want you to think I left you.

Here is a pic of me from this weekend. I still feel that my clothes are fitting better so that makes me happy.

I am UP, Mad, Confused, and Discouraged

2009-02-07T07:33:00.000-08:00

Look at my right leg LOL it looks so small!

I am up 3 on the dot 3 FULL POUNDS. How the hell did that happen? I was almost in tears at the meeting but held them back. My leader came over and asked what was wrong? I said look I have been great all week food wise, I joined a real gym not the Rec Center and got a trainer. I have been with her and working out on my own daily and I am up 3 lbs. She said my muscles are tearing they are retaining the fluids and it is a good thing. I need to work my way through it and I will see the results I want. I went and talked to my trainer at our 2nd session and she said put the scale away for 6 weeks. I told her I have to weigh in weekly with WW and she said ok don't pay attention to the number and I thought yea like that is going to happen. I am still in shock about it and honestly if we are being 100% honest with each other here last night I went to a pizza place with my husband and I ate 2 large slices of pizza, and I have a calzone all to myself. Yep ate it and it felt good I wasn't even upset. I am in so much pain still 2 days later from my trainers 2nd workout (I will give you the exercises she had me do down below you can do them at home) and wondering if it is really worth it. I mean I am losing weight on my own with the bike, elliptical, and treadmill. Why do I need to have a trainer beating me up even if she is really nice LOL. I can barely walk seriously I need help getting up walking I have to walk with my legs straight no knees bending and OMG the pain is just awful.

I went out and got a scale on top of things and I am obsessive about weighing myself. I also purchased the WW food scale and LOVE THAT LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT and if you don't have one get one!

I was discouraged when I started writing this about a hour ago and got interrupted with a phone call but ya know what....I can be upset about these 3 lbs or I can let it go and move on. I have done so good these past few months and this monor setback is not going to take away from my joy. I have to say I am not sure when I will get back in the gym but I will go back. I am going to eat right starting this moment again and get back into the saddle.

Hugs from Michelle up 3 more pounds but they will be gone right away!

My night with my trainer

2009-02-04T11:09:00.000-08:00

Ok let me just say that this new gym does inspire me to do more and I have and I better see the results on the scale but OMG this trainer she was nice to me last night she said but on Thursday night she is going to KILL me.
So I go in and we walk around the machines floor and I tell her I know nada about any of these. So she said ok we are going to work on a few tonight so you remember them and Thursday we will do a full workout.
Ummm yea last night wasn't a full workout? I could barely walk up the stairs last night going to bed. I found muscles I never knew existed....and my legs OMG I could see the muscle bulging.
I did 3 leg machines and 3 arm machines. The last arm machine my arms wanted to drop and she said keep going you have 2 more and I want you to touch my hand. I was raising them with these weights and pulleys and she wanted the handles to hit her hand. I was raising myself in the seat to reach LOL I couldn't get my arms straight. It really made me think again if I wanted to apply to be on the biggest loser....I don't think so!
But I am also getting a fat test done to tell me how much fat is on my body A LOT! I am going to be told how doing the work out they planned for me and nutritional info how long it should take to get it off and what my idea body weigh is based upon my muscles mass and bones etc. So that is going to be intersting. I am really excited about that.
I do have to admit doing the treadmill, bike, eliptical I feel ok in the gym but using those machines I felt like a whale out of water. She had me lay on my belly on a machine and lift my legs all I kept thinking was ok you skinny people in here yea look at me cause I won't be this fat for long!

Oh and out of the mouths of babes....my 4 year old was not eating and I said honey you have to eat she replied with why mommy so I can get fat like you?
Than later in the day she was watching Cheetah Girls and Raven Symone was on tv and she said mommy Raven is fat like you. OMG are you kidding me from a 4 year old and for the record Raven is NOT FAT! I told her that and I am sure she has no clue what I meant.

I will have buns of steel....I will have plastic surgery on my deflated belly and arms someday....and I will be a size Medium one day!
Love,
M

My kids never saw me like this before

2009-01-31T13:18:00.000-08:00

I was at the gym today just thinking back to how far I have come. My daughter said mommy why are you putting those big pants on as I got ready for the gym. I said well honey I don't have that many work out pants so I wear what I can keep up. She said oh well you need some new pants!

But in the gym I realized....MY KIDS HAVE NEVER SEEN ME THIS "SKINNY"

I weighed in the 250's when I had my first child 9 years ago. Can you believe it I have not been this size since 2000.

I have also made a decision I am going to get rid of my clothes this week all my 28's, 26's, 24's, 22's, 20's GOOD BYE I am so glad to get rid of them NO GOING BACK. I am keeping my largest size pants 28's for my final progression pic of me and how far I have come.

My kids tell me I am skinny. My one daughter said Mommy you are skinny I said no I am not she said well your not fat your not skinny you are in between and I love you!

That is all a mom needs to hear!

Peace & Love my friends

I LOVE

2009-01-29T21:53:00.000-08:00

As opposed to finding the things I hate about myself here is a list of the things I love about myself.

I love that my breasts have worked to feed my four children....one for 2 1/2 years alone.
I love that I was able to bear my children without any meds because I listened to the pain and didn't fight it I just rode it out.
I love that my hair is naturally curly and people often comment they wish they had hair like me.
I love my brown eyes when I have makeup on....and even when it is not.
I love that even when I am skinny I will have a body that is like bam bam bam LOL (I just imagine when I was younger and boys would do that to girls as they walked by talking about boobs, waist and her ass LOL)
I love that I am a trusted friend to many.
I love that I am a spur of the moment type of person who if you asked me today to fly off to another country I would go as long as my kids were cared for or I could bring them. Life is a journey why stay in one destination.....we have a whole planet to explore.
I love when how I sing and dance with my kids like no one in the world can hear or see us.
I love and will honor my body....I get a oil change for my car every 3000 miles, I get a physical every year but I don't really take care of my body I love that these last 6 months I have given my body the credit it deserves and the care it demands.
I love that all the women in the world my husband picked me...even when I was a plus size.
I love the fearless woman I am becoming knowing that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.
I love the way sweating has become ok to me rather than disgusting.
I love the pain I get in my legs after a good workout....but it is even better when doing the same workout and the pain doesn't come back anymore cause I am in better shape.

I am in love with me I love me enough to want to take care of myself. I love myself and my children to much to live this life just passing me by. I owe it to them I brought them into this world and I never want to leave my family before my time.
Peace & Love my friends,
XOXOX
M

My WI Results and more stuff

2009-01-29T09:48:00.000-08:00

Drum Roll Please.....
I am down to 255.4 lbs when I didn't have the loss I wanted last week I said to myself ok I just want to hit 255 by the end of January. I did it....I want to get my 50 lb charm from WW in the 1st 2 weeks in February so I have 7 more lbs to lose. The old Michelle would have said I want to lose 7 lbs this week....I have learned that is a unrealistic goal and not to set myself up for failure.

I have also learned something else from this blog....who knew it would teach me something about myself. I have learned that I am more dedicated to this journey than I thought I was. I am seeing the changes in me and some I don't like (more on that later) and some that I Love. So this post has a few things in it

1. if you saw my previous post I wrote down things I hated well after talking with my husband this morning I saw a look on his face and realized he is upset that I wrote things I hate about myself. My husband is a man of few words how on earth did her marry this chatty lady? LOL But the look said it all he looked sad that I sat down and thought of things that I hate.....and ya know what he is right. So today I am going to work on my list of things I LOVE About myself.

2. Ok the things I don't like about me. So I was laying in bed this morning and I looked at my stomach...well looked for it and it didn't stick up above my breasts anymore. I felt around for it....I found it hanging South of the Border. Seems my stomach has deflated and yes my friends I felt my ribcage who knew! So of course I got up and looked in the mirror. I was wearing a tee and panties I know the visual is killing you at the moment but wait it gets worse....if you are eating either 1 put it down or 2 close this blog and come back later. I saw cottage cheese in places I never saw before. I saw my inner thighs where beginning to cave in so the top of my leg the fat is being let out and the skin is going south. So basically at the end of this journey I will be as they say Tore Up from the Floor Up! I of course had to point this out to my husband as he was leaving for work....Wait honey look at this I have dimples, cottage cheese, cellulite whatever you want to call it on my legs where I never knew they were before. Did I have these last year when I was in a bathing suit (of course I wore a skirt LOL) and if so why did you let me go out in a swimsuit I asked him. He knew this conversation was going no where so he turned to go do something and I said no wait you have to see this....I proceeded to life the deflated skin from my inner thighs and said do you see this...I am going to be gross.

3. I am looking for plastic surgeons this week. It is a given and he is on board with it. I have nursed 4 kids the boobs are about to hit my belly button ewwwwwww. My thighs and stomach are going to need some serious lifting and I will be getting lipo on my arms if they don't get any better. My arms oh my arms my beautiful 4 year old daughter was kissing on the jiggles as she calls them....yea good times NOT!

4. When looking back at old posts and notes from my new "blogging buddies" I have learned I am a stronger woman than I thought I was. You have all inspired me to go for my goals and that I can do it. I want to say Thank You Thank You Thank You! You have no idea how your blogs and notes to me keep me going and inspire me.

So ladies and gents if any guys are reading this cause I don't want to leave you out of course I am learning to love the new body emerging from this plumped up obese woman. I am also scared of the prospect of plastic surgery but excited at the thought of a new me...the skinny under the fat me. Many people have said it won't look bad under clothes....honey I didn't bust my ass to keep this body covered up...I won't be a hoochie momma either but I would like to wear a nice bathing suit and feel comfortable and in all honesty it is for me to feel better about myself no one else has to see it besides my husband and me but I will feel better. Plus I consider it a huge motivating factor for keeping it off cause my husband would kill me if I gained it back after all the money spent on the surgeries!

Be on the lookout for my I Love Me post instead of things I hate about myself....may you all have I love me moments today and always.

I really am skinny under my fat....you wait and see!
XOXOX
M

Oprah Show on kids and obesity

2009-01-28T19:24:00.000-08:00

Ok Oprah has changed her style of her show so much over the years but maybe it is that I am older but I watch some of her shows and they are deep and touch me.
But I watched a show on Obesity and our future generation the other day that had me in tears after about 10 minutes.

I was a big teenager, kid, and adult for sometime....I am getting to the Skinny Under My Fat. But she had a exercise where the kids stood before mom or dad and told them I hate...and they screamed off things they hated.
One beautiful girl who I wanted to just email Oprah and say give me her name number I want to call her and meet her and give her a huge hug and tell her it will be ok.
She screamed to her mom I hate that you are my best friend, my only friend. I hate that I don't have a father, I hate that you think you did this (as she waved her hands up and down her body) to me.
A boy screamed I hate that you and dad got a divorce, I hate that he remarried someone, I hate that I put a knife to my neck to kill myself.

It got me to thinking about my life until this point. It seemed theraputic so here goes my I hate...
I hate

That I weighed 130 lbs in the 3rd grade
That my thighs and ass are so big that my thighs rub together
When looking in the mirror I can see the skinny person in me but no one else can
my prom dress that was made because I couldn't find one in my size that was cute and not grandma looking
Settling for boys that were no good
Staying in volatile relationships because I thought I couldn't do better
That I ever passed 300 lbs
That I feel that my children have picked up my bad habits of eating the wrong foods
When my little girl watches what I eat and refuses to eat something saying it will make her fat too so she doesn't want to eat it
Not feeling comfortable in my own skin
Not being able to run around the block with my kids
Giving up on activities I used to love skiing, swimming and really enjoying it not worrying people were watching the beached whale get back in the water
Not feeling sexy anymore no matter how much my husband tells me how much he loves me
That my arms and thighs can literally clap as if they were my hands ughh

Tomorrow is my weigh in wish me luck!

I LOVE my Drs. Scale

2009-01-26T21:21:00.001-08:00

So this is the scale that had me at 313 when I gave birth July 12 of 2008 and today I weighed 253 on that scale. That is down 60 lbs! My husband said you need to go by that scale not WW for your weight to see the real amount and I was just over the moon! DOWN 60 LBS!!!! in 6 months 2 weeks 1 day....OMG

I was in the gym today and I was watching my legs as I was pedaling on the bike in the mirror and they are really getting smaller....they are still huge but smaller than they were. My poor husband I came home and kept asking him are they smaller? Where do you notice me smaller? What has changed on me? Do you think I can get to 120 lbs. Poor guy was dodging questions all night.

I stayed on point today. I worked out for a hour and some and I feel proud!
I am skinny under my fat!
XOXOX
M

Stuffed!

2009-01-25T19:29:00.000-08:00

No not me silly my pantry. So I have this insane need to plan and schedule everything. I am a planner....tracking should be so easy for me. Well I was watching the news and saw a woman who feeds her family of 4 on 60.00 a week so I said let's try her coupon hints. I have tons of WW coupons from the meetings and I went to Harris Teeter it is buy 1 get one free.
I spent 19.72 on the following
2 boxes of blueberry muffins from WW
1 twinkie like thing from WW
1 chocolate cake WW
1 iced latte ice pop from WW
10 WW yogurts
The cakes, muffins were buy 1 get one free I had a 1.00 off coupon. The yogurt I had 2 buy 1 get one free and it was on sale for 10 for 7.00 and I also had a 3rd coupon of 55 cents off and they double coupons so I got 1.10 off plus buy 1 get one free 2x.
I got at Kroger 14 WW/Lean Cuisine meals and sugar free caramel pudding and cool whip for 1 point I have a treat it is so good I had one when I got home. 2 1/2 hours of shopping I earned it.
I also got a new fiber 1 bar mocha chocolate I hope it tastes good. I heard good things about it.
So I have this week planned out of course. I hope be lose 4-5 lbs this week with the new gym and all my foods set.
I really want to get down to 248 so I can get my 50 lb charm from WW and be down 65 personally since July 12.
I am skinny under my fat!
Michelle

Starbucks

2009-01-24T12:03:00.000-08:00

Ok Starbucks I drove thru and said to my self I love the caramel frappachinno so let me get a small one. I was thrilled to see they offer light I say ok Michelle you are on a diet get a light not thinking what that meant. I failed to mention my favorite part is the whipped cream with the caramel drizzled all over it. Not the coffee itself heck I don't really like coffee all that much Hot never iced ok frozen you got me! The nice young man hands me my drink after taking my money and I see a small cup with frozen coffee no whipped cream, no caramel....STOP THE INSANITY MAN STOP IT give me my whipped cream make it swirl out of the little hole on the top so I can lick it off....give me my caramel dripping down off the cup so I just have to lick my fingers. I mumble under my breath no whipped cream damn it and my 8 year old says what mom? I said nothing....mommy is just on a diet and I can't have whipped cream or messy caramel on my drinks anymore. I was feeling sad, proud that I didn't say to that nice young man screw it throw some whipped cream on this and caramel and why you are at it make it a Venti (large) and tell me the total. I drove home drinking it slowly (it took me 6 minutes to inhale it) yes I did actually time it and I went to dwlz.com and thinking I was drinking a 8 point drink found out it was a 3 point drink and I smiled.
Smiled for the loaded ones I drank before....smiled that after inhaling it I didn't really miss the whipped cream that much....and smiled most of all that my daughter heard my disappointment in no whipped cream or caramel but still saw me enjoy that drink and know that sometimes you don't need the whole shabang.
Oh and will I be gong back for a $3.72 drink that is 3 points anytime soon...ummm NO! I could have had a whole wheat english muffin and my smart ease spread and still had a point.....a whole hell of a lot filling than that drink!

Goodbye Starbucks I really don't think I will be missing you! Light or not you just are not worth it!
I am skinny under my fat and your products are not keeping my wallet fat, but my waist only so good bye....
XOXO
M

Joining a Real Gym YIPPEE

2009-01-24T07:07:00.000-08:00

OK so I was coming out of my weekly Chick Fil A playdate where I ate a 6 point grilled chicken and 6 point french fries and on my door of my car when I walked out was a Gym membership offer.
199 for 1 year
289 for 2 years....I am taking this option it is less than 13.00 a month. I currently pay 10.00 a month for a rec center gym and it is only open 8-9 no daycare, no Sundays open and Saturday 8-5 so I can't go on Sat or Sun cause my hubby works on Sat until around 530.
With this I can have my nights back with my family and go during the day while the kids are in school....my friends might join so the kids can have a playdate in the playarea and play while the moms work out.
I think this next step is needed. My current gym has 4 treadmills, 2 ellipticals, 2 bikes, 1 stairstepper and 1 weight machine thing that does tons of things.
This new gym is a statewide gym it has everything and is big and open all days of the week and hours that will work great for me and childcare if FREE!

Be scared Team Lynn be very scared LOL My weight will be coming off even quicker!
They are only doing the sign ups on Mon/Tues at the gym so I will be going in and signing up bright and early on Monday!

Down.....if you call it that

2009-01-23T06:51:00.000-08:00

I lost .2 for the entire week OMG are you serious?
But hey it is down right....down .2 from where I was the week before.
I even ate dinner before going to WW tonight which I normally go in the am and don't eat and I just couldn't resist last nights meal.
I got this tortellini roasted red peppers and chicken dish at Trader Joes my daughter wanted it so bad so I gave in. Well me and her ate it everyone else ate plain chicken, rice, and green beans. I knew I had lots of points left so I ate them.
I have decided I am affected by the scale but the scale is part of the journey. I fit into clothes that would have never gotten up my fat legs before. I feel better walking up the stairs. I can stay on the elliptical for freaking 35 minutes or longer....I am so doing this....might be longer than I expected but I am SKINNY UNDER MY FAT!

I have decided to start going at night to weight watchers. I go with 3 other friends we each have kids with us and it is so hectic in the meeting we are chasing kids, cleaning up after spills, dealing with my crying baby so we are going at night. We all have been having not so great weeks lately and we feel we need the meetings. So we are going no kids at night!

Tomorrow night we are going out to the Outback....ummmm what the heck was I thinking! Cheesecake with caramel and Alice Springs Chicken smothered in bacon and cheeeeeeeeeese. If you asked me about heaven on earth I would tell you the above mentioned food. No lie seriously I live for Outback days. I haven't had one in about 6 months. I had it after Jalen was born but not again. I need to get about 15 extra activity points for tomorrow is that even possible? I will be using my weekly 35 points tomorrow in 1 day I am sure. I might live on 1 cup of ceral and 1 fiber 1 bar so I have 25 daily points, 35 weekly points, and than at least 5 activity points so 65 points for dinner OMG that just sounds disgusting! I need to re-evaluate this food plan!

I am going to take a picture of what I eat tomorrow like a fellow blogger does so you can see what I ate.....I gotta live right! It is a celebration not a celebrate week long it is one day I will track the points! I will also lose this week more than I have lately I am going to bust my butt working out and tracking all week and eating the right foods!

Thanks for reading! Have a great weekend everyone!
XOXOX
M

Snow days-Friends/Blogs

2009-01-21T10:12:00.000-08:00

The kids have been off since Saturday. First we had MLK day than the last 2 days snow days. My kids are my weakness they eat I want to eat. I have been eating bad the last 5 days. ughhh
I even ate 14 points of pasta last night! But I stayed within my points range for the day but after I ate it I was so tired I went to sleep on the couch for a bit....that is what my life was like eating to much for dinner going to bed early....that is NOT the new me.

I have been on point today but eating the right foods. I am trying right.
My kids want to go play in the snow but I don't want to let them because the clean up sucks! I hate the snow all over the floor when they come in, I hate how they are saying they are not really cold but they are shivering. I hate that I don't let them love the snow I did growing up in NJ when we got snow all the time. But here I go in a few minutes putting those snow suits back on again and letting them run around in the snow.

Do you let your family/Friends see your blog? I come here post my weight, personal issues and I know people in my inner circle are aware of my blog but I never told them the site. I guess I just need a part of me to be private just me and my thoughts....and you all of course reading it my blogging buddies LOL. I guess I have always said to myself when I get to 199 I will let people read my blog that I know so they can see the struggle that I overcame. They can see everything I went thru.

I am off to let my little ones run around in the snow! Wish me luck that the house doesn't get to wrecked!
XOXOX
M

Will I ever be a new me?

2009-01-20T11:22:00.000-08:00

So I am changing. My body is slowly shrinking to the person I hope it was meant to be. Do you ever wonder what it is really suppose to be like? Sometimes when you see a big person bu they look good...or when you see someone who has lost a lot of weight and they look awful. I look in the mirrow at my face and marvel at how it has changed from that image of me the day I took my before picture. Yesterday I was staring at my neck and how it no longer has a double chin blocking it. Do you see some before and after pictures and the person doesn't look the same? Will I recognize the Michelle looking back at me?

I honestly hope that I am skinny under my fat but I have been fat all my life. Maybe I am suppose to be this way. All I know is I want to know what it feels like to be skinny for once in my life...hopefully it is the way I was meant to be and I will keep it all off!

I joined the BLBE Challenge, I also joined a summer weight loss challenge group....I enjoy a challenge. I just hope that with all this work I will be able to get it off and be happy with the new me.
XOXOXO
M

Rambling post

2009-01-18T18:10:00.000-08:00

Congrats to Losing Shari for being the biggest loser on Team Angie!
Team Angie Rocks though cause we are the biggest losers vs. Team Lynn LOL

This has me even more motivated to get my ass in gear and drop 5 lbs this week...if I can do it I will be so happy. I am so stressed, sad, feeling quite blah about something. When I started WW in July when I gave birth to Jalen I said I wanted to be 199 by the time Disney came. I would have to lose 114 lbs in 8 months. Well I am not going to make it. I know I am not. We go in April on the 5th and I think I will be in the 220's. Still that is way better than 313 but I really wanted to be 199 and be in a size 14. I might make the size 14 cause my sizing is so off from where I thought it would be. I am a good 60 lbs heavier than I was in high school but I am in the same size. I was told it is vanity sizing and they made the sizes bigger so you wouldn't feel so large....well it is totally screwing me up! I wanted to be at 180 and be in a size 18 me at the 250's in a size 18 is messing with my head. I am thinking ok if I get to a size 14 and I am above 200 that might be ok cause I will be in a regular size not a plus size....but I need to get to the 130's where god only knows what size I will be wearing LOL

I went to a new store today I have never been to....Trader Joes and man was it expensive. I couldn't believe how much a loaf of bread was when I could go to Kroger and get a loaf for 1.00 but this place charged 2.99 to 3.69 for a loaf of bread. I suppose the food is healthier but I am not paying that much for sandwich bread for the kids sorry...they make me cut off most of it when I take off the crust anyway.

This week I have found myself very scared of the idea of getting skinny. Does that make sense? How the hell will I be able to maintain...eating dinner my daughter said to my other daughter who were eating pizza and cheese was stringing from her mouth to the pizza your pizza looks even cheesier than mommy's lasagna. I thought wow I won't be able to have my lasagna again...no matter how I make it lighter it won't taste the same....I guess I am mourning the loss of my favorite foods...I know I should make new favorite food friends but really these foods have been my friend for 34 years.....how can I turn my back on them.

It is funny how WW says you can still eat what you want but if I did that I would have the 160 points in a day a guy told us he ate on Christmas.
When I get to goal I think I will be at the 20 points range what am I going to do with 20 points LOL.

So on a sad note I gave birth on July 12 to my only son Jalen. He is the best little boy and I breastfeed him. Ok no slapping me here ok but I have not been eating all my 10 points actually I have not eaten any of them. I felt I was so large that I could do without them. He eats every 4 hours still gets up at night even though he is 6 months to eat and I feed him no problem. I thought he was getting bigger but seems he hasn't from 4 months to 6 months at the appt this week he has not gained a ounce. The Dr said maybe my milk has dried up since I lost so much weight. So he said do you pump? I said no I only breastfeed no need to pump since he refused the bottle. Well he has been forced to take a bottle of formula at that because when I pumped I got 3 oz. He needed more than that. So I wait until my breasts are really full and feed him what I have and we give him 6 oz of formula at feedings and 3 jars of food a day for breakfast, lunch, dinner and hopefully when we go back in a month for a weight check he will be getting bigger. He was in the 3rd percentile when before he was in the 25th. He was born 4 weeks early and a small baby to begin with but this is just insane. So my son is being weaned from me way to early but I know that I have to do what is best for him. My mom and friend both told me that I am doing to good to stop and I need to keep doing what I am doing and let him have the formula it won't hurt him. I know that too but the bottle thing is killing me how he refuses it one feeding the next he takes to it fine. I guess he has to learn how to take the bottle.
I breastfed my 1st 6 weeks gave up cause it hurt learned with my 2nd if it hurts you aren't doing it right.
My 2nd we breastfed until her 1st bday that day we stopped and had her last feeding. I still remember taking her to her nursery and having one last feeding with her.
My 3rd oh god this was way overdue but we nursed for 2 1/2 years yes you read that right and it was not my choice she would freak if she didn't have my boob. I have to say I look at kids who are even 18 months and think wow I breastfed a baby that old and I am shocked. Not that I am against it but I am just surprised my milk lasted that long and that we made it that long.
Jalen well looks like he is going to be lucky to get 7 months of breastfeeding.

Lordy this post was all over....I just have lots on my mind as you can see.
I have been on point today didn't work out took a day of rest if running to 4 different stores food shopping is a day of rest LOL oh but I did pick up the 2 gallons of milk and thought wow I used to carry around this weight on my body....how I will never let that happen again!
Good night!
XOXOX
M

Mya WON!!!!

2009-01-17T14:09:00.001-08:00

We are thrilled to announce the following:
Mya won
1st Place for the balance beam
4th Place for the Uneven Bars
5th Place for the Vault
4th Place OVERALL out of 36 girls in her age group!

Her floor routine had some steps in it if she would have had her deducted 1.2 pts she would have won the overall in 1st place her coach told us. It seems that the routine they were taught they had them stepping between jumps and they are not allowed so the judges took off for that....but that is ok with us it is a great learning lesson for her. She got 3 ribbons and 1 gold medal. She is so excited and we are so proud of her. She wasn't nervous and she did it all great. I have included the video of her 1st place balance beam routine!

I am staying on point today and when we got home I went to the gym. I worked out on the eliptical for 25 minutes burned 250 calories, did the bike for 4 miles burned 125 calories and walked a mile and that burned 200 more calories so 575 calories total I burned today. Oh and last night I was laying in bed and my husband who is so unsure what to say to me about my weight loss turned and said to me as he got up to get a drink OMG you are so small....I said what? and he said no really I see a huge change all of a sudden in your stomach it is getting small. I said thanks....and after he left I of course stared at my stomach HAHA. While working out in the gym I used to look in disgust at my legs reflection back at me today I noticed my ankles are small and that my legs while still big are getting smaller and they aren't so bad to look at.

I must say that this summer I look forward to being able to wear shorts and a tee shirt and them not being Avenue or Lane Bryants drawstring cotton or elastic waist shorts!

Mya's 1st Gymnastics Competition

2009-01-16T18:39:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is my 6 year old daughter Mya's 1st Gymnastics Competition. I am a nervous wreck. I can be totally honest here...yea it is my dream that she wins every gold medal in the house and that she wins the all around. I want her to come home with medal after medal after medal. Will that happen....I don't know. But in the end all I can do is wish that she does HER best. I am a nervous wreck she is so calm. I woke her this morning and said do you know what tomorrow is? She said yea Saturday....I said no silly she said what do we have to clean our rooms? I said no it is your competition she said oh yea my competition. I was doing her hair this evening before she went to bed and said are you nervous? She said no why should I be?

So if you could and if you pray please send a prayer that all the little ones stay safe and healthy....and that my Mya does HER best and that she most of all HAS FUN!

I have stayed on point today and actually was full and didn't want to eat anymore at lunch that was a first LOL.

Can't wait to see the WI results this week I am sure Team Angie is kicking butt!

XOXO

Down but not where I want to be...

2009-01-15T17:37:00.000-08:00

OK I went to WI today and I was down to 257.4....didn't lose much 6 oz. but I am so mad because this week I worked out like a mad woman. Let me tell you I had 1 bad day but I stayed within my 35 weekly points other than that I did my usual and added even more workout time. I have to admit working out with a friend isn't so bad LOL She is great at talking when I can talk or she can talk if we are warming up or cooling down. We have made friends in the gym and last night I did something I thought I wouldn't be able to do for a long time. I stayed on the elliptical for 35 minutes I left only because I had to get my daughter at gymnastics. But I went back and walked 2 miles on the treadmill. My legs are killing me. I have been working out in the gym every night tonight I didn't go because I went to a 2nd WW meeting tonight with my friend. I go during the day she goes at night and I wanted to support her for her 1st WI.

But seriously for all the work I did this week I expected another 4 lb weight loss. It is going to catch up with me next week everyone is telling me. I really wanted to get to my 50 lb weight charm in WW this month but I don't think that is going to happen. I need to lose another 10 lbs this month. I started at 313 on my own and joined WW at 298 so I am down 56 pounds so far on my own 41 with WW.

I really want to be at the end of the BLBE Challenge down at least 40 lbs. It was a wish of mine when we go to Disney in April to be 199 but that isn't going to happen at this rate so I just look forward to seeing the pics of me this year so much smaller than last year and hopeful for 2010 when I go and I am at my goal weight :-)

I hope everyone had a great week and that Angie's Team Kicks Butt!
XOXO
M

Not feeling so great today

2009-01-12T07:49:00.000-08:00

Ok so yesterday Erik went to a friends to help him hook up his Wii and I stayed home he asked me to finish cleaning....I didn't and I came online of course....my other addiction is the net LOL. So anyway about 3 hours later his friend calls and says we are on our way! I said NO my house is a wreck I have not showered give me a hour. Me and the kids ran around cleaning it must have been commical. Well they brought Chinese food I don't eat Chinese so I was good. But Erik he brought home 3 pizzas, a cake, cupcakes, 2 gallons of ice cream, 4 bottles of soda, 3 bags of chips and 1 of pretzels. OMG are you kidding me....mind you all of us are doing WW but one other couple. In all we had 3 families here 12 of us total. I ate 2 slices of pizza had a cupcake and a little bit of ice cream and a sliver of cake...oh and chips and pretzels but stuck to my crystal light and had 1 cup of diet dr. pepper.

I just felt like crap eating that but seriously the points were less than 35 so I ate my 35 points for the week but I got worried. What do I do when I get to my goal can I not eat a slice of cake or have a cupcake and not feel bad. Do you ever see skinny people pigging out on food and say why can't I do that and not get fat? I asked a friend in my DD's dance class how she stays so skinny she is always talking about pastries bakeries pizza places food in general. I said honestly what do you do take a bite and move on? She said no. I asked how do you stay skinny you said you hate to work out she said well actually I have a throid condition I can't gain weight....I so want that condition I told her. She said no not actually I go for a yearly check to see if it is cancer it isn't fun. I guess this is a life long battle that will not be won when I get to goal....I am just sad because I am losing a great friend...it never lets me down....I am lucky that we are blessed enough to have more than I need of it....and even when my day feels like crap something sweet will make me feel better for a moment. Food is no longer my friend....it is a distant long lost love that I will only use to keep me going for fuel not what my life revolves around.

Go Team Angie....we are going to kick ass!
Michelle
XOXO

I MET DANIEL FROM BL TODAY!!!

2009-01-10T17:23:00.000-08:00

My friend called and told me she was going by the local gym and she saw a guy with that arm thing they wear on the show. She knew they weren't widely used so she stopped and slowed down he had his back to her. She said he was on the phone he turned around and she recognized him right away. So she went to talk to him. She called me after she got in the car...I was out in the area so I ran over...we live in the same town all of us and it is a small town very small. So I asked him about how fast they start out on the treadmill he said that they only let him go 1.8MPH at first and each person is different. He asked what I was doing since I told him I was so proud of him and I was struggling with weight issues too. He was so nice he said well you know what you are doing when I told him my workout routine and how much I lost. He was very very sweet. It makes me want to just have him over cook him only healthy food and get him well. I cried so hard for him when I saw him on tv and his friend because they are so young. He couldn't tell me anything about results LOL but he did say Jillian and Bob are really rough! People at the gym were walking in saying hi and he is working out all day at the gym I think and this was his break. Here is a pic I didn't ask how much he lost so far I wish I would have.

I did tell him about us here doing the challenge maybe he will find us! Of course I told him I would win HEHE!

XOXO

Team Angie! Biggest Loser

2009-01-10T03:03:00.000-08:00

So I have been assigned to Team Angie! GO TEAM ANGIE!!! We are going to be the bunch of biggest losers anyone has ever met ;-)

I sent out a picture to some friends today and they were shocked at how much I have lost. It felt good for them to see me and notice the change. People don't really notice yet it is just my close friends who see me all the time and know what I am doing that say something. I have had a few people say things that don't know me well but I want the teachers in my kids school to say something or a neighbor LOL.

Yet again another day on point. I have really gotten it down where I know what my points are and plan the day and I check off what I eat...I had to admit I even had a hershey special dark chocolate bar yesterday with my kids. The 3 of us split it and it was so good and only 3 points!
I am very excited about this weight loss. I feel that this time it is really going to work. I want to be the biggest loser. I hope at the end of this that I will be comfortable enough in my skin to say to my friends I am xxx amount of weight. My friend waited until she was 199 to tell us not that it has to be known but I agree with the diet tribe it is freeing to say it. I tell my mom and I love saying it 313 to 258 not to shabby right. She just laughs at me and says it is wonderful!

I am shopping and NewYork and Co LOL never thought I would do that but it is the 5.99 sale and I am purchasing things for this summer that I can wear. I figure if I am a XL top at the moment if I buy large I will be good to go for summer. Worst case it will be big best case it will be just right....IT WON'T BE TO SMALL cause I am finding the skinny under my fat!
XOXO
M

Pictures at 258lbs

2009-01-08T11:56:00.001-08:00

Me in a XL sweater from the ladies side and size 18 jeans. Taken 7-8-09 at 258 lbs!

Measurements

2009-01-08T11:49:00.000-08:00

Ok here are my measurements for today.... I have no idea where I was measuring at before so I made notes of locations LOL so I can be more accurate.

Jan 8, 2008

Calf 18 inches taken 2 inches down from knee
Arm 14 inches 1 inch above elbow
Waist 49 inches taken at belly button
Bust 39.25 inches taken at bottom of bra line
Thigh...no idea where I was measuring that so I am not doing that anymore....it is just big LOL

Measurements: Sept 22, 2008
Calf 20 inches
Arm 14 inches
Thigh 30 inches
Waist 59 inches
Bust 48 inches

Measurements: October 25, 2008
Calf 18.5 inches -1.5
Arm 12.5 inches -1.5
Thigh 26 inches -4
Waist 55 inches -4
Bust 43 inches -5

Measurements: November 24, 2008
Calf: 18.5 inches stayed the same but looks different I am building some muscle!
Arm: 12 inches -.5 total down 2 inches
Thigh: 22 inches -4 inches down 8 inches total
Waist: 52 inches -2 grand total down 6 inches
Bust: 39.5 inches -3.5 inches total down 7.5 inches
DOWN 25 INCHES TOTAL since September 22